Love At First Fight

Chapter Thirty Seven

Trevor

I watch Violet as the words that Angie just spit at her seems to sink in. She sighs lightly and runs a hand through her extremely long hair as she stares off in the direction of her sister. I slowly move forward until I'm right beside her, not sure how to deal with this situation. I've never been good with people who are upset, probably because I don't have to deal with it often.

My life has taken a drastic turn since I first asked Violet to help me out all those weeks ago. Before that my life was just the same plain old stuff. Go home, help my mom out with whatever she was struggling with, grab something to eat, and then fight. But so much has changed now. Everything is just so much more...

Exciting.

It's a lot more exciting in a weird sort of way. I'll never tell anyone this, but I always look forward to Violet and I's little training sessions. They're always so much work, but they help me to forget all of the shit that I have going on at home. They help me to stop constantly wondering about where my dad's at and what he might be doing right now. They help me to forget about my own little sister who was taken from me at such a young age. And they help me to forget about my mother who can't help but to forget about me.

I don't know why it was so hard for me to not think about these things when I'm just training on my own. You'd think that focusing all of my energy on something else would make all of my thoughts go away. But whenever I trained on my own the thoughts just seemed to get worse. Maybe it's because fighting reminds me too much of my father. Maybe it's because I'm just not capable of escaping everything on my own.

Or maybe it's just because of Violet.

She hated me at first, maybe she still hates me. But something about her has always just seemed so calming to me. It's actually kind of weird how comfortable I am around her even though she never seems all too amused by my wise cracks.

"Are you okay?" I ask Violet as her gaze shifts down to the ground. "She didn't mean it Violet."

"I'm fine," she says although her expression betrays her claim. "She's just... never said anything like that to me before."

"She was just angry," I cautiously place my hand on her back. "She's a little kid. She doesn't understand why you couldn't let her stay."

"I don't know Trevor," Violet breaks away from me, walking over to sit down on the couch. "Sometimes I feel like I'm still just a little kid too. Why should I be making these decisions for her? I never feel like I know what I'm doing. What if I'm not doing any of this right?"

"Any of what?"

"This," she expresses dramatically. "Being a guardian for her. I try, I really do. But I've grown up with one shit parent myself, who's to say that I'm not going to end up being just like my mom?"

"What're you talking about?" I stroll over and kneel down in front of her. "You're great with her, Violet. And she's lucky to have you."

"I don't feel like she is," she lifts her head up to look at me, our faces far closer than they've ever been before. "I don't feel like she's lucky to have to live through any of this. She's such a good kid Trevor, she deserves to have a better life than this."

"And she will," I say truthfully. "This isn't going to last forever Violet. Everyone gets dealt a bad card at some point in their life, you guys just got it early on. She's so young, she's got so much more to live for."