I can't act like I fucking care (pt.3)

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**look at picture whenever I talk about glasses :)**

           I was currently on the phone with my friend Jenna. After my incident with Billie last night, she hasn't texted me today. So I haven't even gotten ready for work. I'm sure she's fired me. "I don't know y/n, Billie is extremely unpredictable. One day she'll say this and the next she will end up doing the complete opposite just because of her mood," Jenna says. She was currently getting ready for the show tonight.
          "She wanted me to stop dancing for everyone like what the fuck? Dancing is who I am," I say ranting. I mean who the fuck does she think she is? I couldn't help but think about Lilly. Did she ever do this to her? "Have you ever heard of a girl named Lilly?" I ask. Jenna's eyes dart to mine in surprise, "woah, I haven't heard that name in ages. That's Billie's ex." I scrunch up my nose, "Like ex stripper?" Jenna shakes her head and starts to apply red lipstick, "Like ex girlfriend. They were a thing thing for a long ass time. No one knows what happened really, just a big ass bar fight and then boom... she's at the bottom of the polls again."
I sit back in disbelief. Billie lied to me last night when I asked about her. "Damn, that shit is crazy babe. Oh wait shit, Bil is calling me, I'll hit you up later-" I didn't give her a chance to answer me as I swiped right to answer the phone call from Billie. Why the hell is she calling me again? It was like instinct, she was so addicting, just to hear her voice.
           "Hello mamas," she says. I sigh and lean back in my chair, pulling one of my knees up to my chin, not replying to her. She chuckles and doesn't say anything, revving her engine as she drives down some highway. I scoff, was that supposed to impress me? I can't stand the fact of being someone's fucking pretend toy. She knows she's into me. And it scares the shit out of her too. She turns on her blinker and turns down a street before saying, "Uhm, so I'm going to be at the 7:30 stage tonight so come check me out." I scoff, "Since when do you dance." She chuckles, "Mmm, so you do speak. No mama, I'm saying I wanna watch you dance at the 7:30 show. I wanna watch my babygirl."

          I wrinkle my nose and stand up, walking into my kitchen to grab a mango slice, "But I thought I wasn't allowed to dance anymore?" She sighs, turning her car off, "Ah, baby why so complicated? Why don't you open your door so we can talk about it more?" With that, she hung up on me. I stood there in my kitchen with a slight smile on my face, "This bitch..." As I made my way to the door, I noticed what I had on; a black long sleeved crop top and underwear. Well, it is my fucking house. I smirked as I swung open the door, leaning on the ledge as the sun glistened over my exposed body. She stood there with her hands in her oversized shorts, pushing her shades down to get a better look at me as she says, "I should stop by unannounced more often."
I giggle and pull her by her wrist into the house as we wander into my room. I set my led lights from blue to red as she kicks off her shoes and her coat, plopping herself onto my bed. She has a tendency of acting like she fucking owns everything she touches which I'll have to admit, was pretty hot. I lay down next to her and grab one of my pillows to lay on. She lays there, not really saying anything at first. She seemed to be in deep thought. "For someone who never shows emotion, you sure seem to be showing a hell of a lot of it right now," I say in a giggly tone. She snaps her head towards me, all emotion draining from her face. I wipe the smile off of my face as I stare back at her; she really didn't like that comment. She goes back to staring at the ceiling before saying, "You can dance with whoever you please and do whatever, just make sure you're with me the second half of your shift."
She tried to sit up and get off the bed but I grabbed her shoulder, "Woah, where are you going? You just got here?" She chuckles and gets up anyways, throwing on her coat, "I run a strip club. Gotta go and actually run the bitch." I stand up and go to my doorway, blocking her from leaving. She stands in front of me, not moving me yet not saying anything either. I reach my hand out and take hers. It takes her a moment before giving in and holding my hand. "I'm sorry if what I said upset you," I said quietly, "We just can't keep pretending this shit isn't real."
She squeezes my hand and sighs, "See that's the thing though," she lets go of my hand and looks up at me, "I can't act like I fucking care. I can't do that to myself again." I stand there, frozen as she cups my cheek with her hand, kissing. "Damn," she says. She shakes her head before walking out of the room and out of the house, leaving me in the doorway completely bare. I stare at the place where she lied on my bed till my vision blurred, hugging myself. Fuck this. I grabbed a towel and my clothes for the night as I headed into the shower. It's fucking show time.

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