Billie Eilish Imagines

All for nothing (Pt.3)

I'll admit, I was kind of upset about Billie. How was I going to take it back? We have such a good chorus now, there's just a few lines that- I looked over my shoulder to see Finneas standing at the beginning of the balcony. I was sitting in one of the chairs on the porch of the hotel Justin set up for them. I'll admit, he was good at choosing pretty locations. "Can I come and sit?" he asks. I sigh and nod as he sits in the chair next to me. We both gaze out into the city, watching the sun set. One of the things I always loved about him was his appreciation for silence. He always knew what to say and what to do. "Finneas-" I try to start to say something but he shakes his head at me. 

"I know what you were trying to do but.. why in that way?" he asks. I sigh, "Because, I don't really want to know her. I already know you. I know too much, and I really just don't uh- I don't want this. I never wanted this gig." He shakes his head, "Y/n.. she doesn't know about-" I wave his comment away, "Oh my god, Finneas. No one knows. That's the whole damn point I-I mean we were- it was-" I stand up out of frustration and go to lean up against the balconies edge. Finneas comes and walks up next to me, "Nothing even happened." I looked at him and scoffed, "Of course nothing even fucking happened! But how would it look if an 19 year old producer was secretly going around with the interscope records daughter who was only 16?" He looks out at the dimmed sunset, "It was taken care of. Your father-"

I shook my head out of anger, "Yea, my fucking father took care of it. Of course he did." Finneas nods his head, looking down, "It's a good song, y/n." I raised my eyebrows sarcastically, "Of course it's a good song Finneas. It started your sisters career." Finneas nods his head, saying nothing more. Once the sun was down, I walked inside my suite, going and grabbing some water. Finneas stays out on the balcony, the door still open. I sit on my bed as I say, "She doesn't even know that I wrote it, does she." Finneas takes a second before walking over to the sliding glass door, leaning on it, "You know, she's highly intimidated of you. She's never worked with someone like you." I laughed as I took a sip of water, "Ah, well. She'll have to learn to work with me. We have no choice." Finneas scoffs and walks in, closing the door behind him, "She knows the lyrics are good. She just ah, she wants to tell you things herself. No more going around and finding things out secretly, okay?" I stare at him before giving in, "Fine. But she should know about ocean eyes." He seemed to be taken aback by my comment, "We uh, we can't do that." I frowned and slowly nodded my head, "I know that. I just can't help but wonder what would happen if she did know."

***

Billie's POV: 

I stared at myself in the mirror. Who am I? I couldn't say. I hated every single inch of my body. My face, too plump. My body, too skinny. I'm practically asking for it even if I just stand here in a million layers of clothes. I gripped the edge of the sink a little harder, making my hands turn red. I was so pissed. I can't believe she would- who the fuck does that?? Who invades the privacy of their fucking artists?? Of course the lyrics were good. The worst part is I truly only meant it about myself. I look at myself in the mirror, my blue eyes piercing my unwanted skin. I felt abandoned. Somehow put in the wrong body, the wrong life.'Don't be that way.. fall apart twice a day... I just wish you could feel what you say,' I started to sing softly. Damn it. She's got me hooked. She invaded my privacy, lost my trust, but has me hooked. Who the fuck does she think she is? I walked out of the bathroom and into me and Finneas's little hotel room. He had a small piano set up on the side just in case either one of us had inspiration during the night. Of fucking course I would be the one to need to use it after this hell of a day. 

Finneas was supposed to go and talk to her I guess. I don't know how he is going to be able to smooth things over or even fix them. Yet somehow he always ends up doing it. I will never know his secret... but it makes me so angry that he is so perfect. Has he never felt pain? Its like only wisdom and fucking sunshine come pouring out of his mouth. I just feel black ooze seeping from my eyes; nothing but a disappointment. I shook my head and started to lightly play the melody me and my brother came up with a few months before. Writing music came so easy to us; I wasn't sure why this one was so hard. It's like the words would usually just come spilling out of me. I sometimes like to write stories with my music. So what if I haven't actually experienced it all... it's my fucking imagination and I can write about whatever the fuck I please. I started to sing what I started in the bathroom and grabbed my song book. lightly scratching it into one of the pages. I sat back and thought about my conversation with him earlier..