Again. Again. Again. 《 l.s》

♡ THIRTY - SEVEN ♡

"I knew a boy and a boy. Best friends with each other. But always wished they were more. 'Cause they loved one another. But never discovered, 'Cause they were too afriad." Conan Gray (The story)

••••••

Songs

Not that way - Sam Smith

I'm a mess - Bebe Rexha

••••••

[ Harry's POV ]

"I got a girlfriend!" He says, practically jumping up and down. "It's Kat, from Halloween." He is smiling bigger than I have ever seen.

Bigger than the first time we talked.

Bigger than when we went to the drive-in.

Bigger than the first time he came over.

Bigger than when we danced in the rain.

Bigger than the first time we touched.

Bigger than any smile he's ever had about me.

"Uh- that's so great Louis!" I say with yet another fake smile.

"What were you gonna say?"

"Oh nothing, I uh- need to go." I say, pushing past him and making it my mission to get as far away as possible. I walk to my next class and collapse in my seat. My mind is going into overload. Everything is just a blur, or maybe it's the tears gathering in my eyes making everything blurry.

See? he never loved you

"Shut up." I whisper under my breath. Making a few people send me judgemental glances. Those glances hurt a lot more without Louis. I know he did like me at some point. I rack my brain for some sort of confirmation of this theory.

"Do you have a crush on anyone?" I've been dying to know for a week now.

He sits there for a few seconds thinking and then finally takes a deep breath. "Yeah, I think I do." He confesses. "They have brown hair that I just wanna run my hands through. And the most beautiful green eyes I've ever seen."

See, I have brown hair and- wait. I think of Kat Greenday. The girl he is now dating. And she has brown hair and nice green eyes.

It's her, he was always talking about her. It's never been me. Louis never loved me, I never had a chance. I have just been so oblivious I could see. I was so determined to ignore the voices, I couldn't realize they were right.

Maybe they are right about other things too.

•••

All the rest of my classes go by in a blur aswell. Until lunch. My stomach is practically eating itself alive to face Louis alone. But once I walk into the library and walk to our usual table that problem is easily -or not so easily- avoided.

Because she is sitting there with him.

And she's sitting in my spot

"Harry!" Louis waves his arms when he sees me. Like I don't know he's there. Like we haven't been sitting at the table every day for three months straight. I sigh and walk over to them.

"Harry this is Kat, Kat this is Harry."

"Hi, Harry!"

"Hi." I say simply. I look over at Louis and jerk my head towards my spot. The spot I have sat in for four years straight. He shakes his head and pulls out a chair on the side of the table. I just squint at him.

"Is there a problem?" Kat asks hesitantly.

"No, it's fi-"

"That's my spot " I interrupt him.

"Just sit next to me." She chirps.

"No, I sit there." I stand my ground.

"What's the difference?" She laughs.

"What's the difference?" I ask. Mocking her high voice.

"Here we go." Louis sighs.

"In the winter that seat is close enough to the radiator to stay warm, yet not so close to cause me to sweat. In the spring it is directly in the path of a cross breeze that comes from those two windows." I point to the two windows in the library. "It faces the entrance at a perfect angle to be able to see if an intruder has entered and there is a need for evacuation. But not so direct it limits conversation at the table. It has that tiny x drawn." I point to the tiny pencil scratch. "If you place the middle of your lunch on it. The space on both sides of your plate is symmetrical. The windows give just enough light during lunch to light on your workspace but not so much you are being blinded. I can go on but I think you get the point."

"Do you want me to move?" She says with a confused head bob.

"Well..."

"Jesus Harry, just sit somewhere else!" Louis exasperates.

"Fine." I say quietly. I awkwardly shuffle around to the chair they have pulled out for me. I sit down and spend almost five minutes wiggling around. When I finally can sit still I quietly eat my lunch while they talk about their day. My leg won't stop bouncing under the table.

Count to 60 or else you die

•••

[ Louis's POV ]

"34..35..36.." Kat stops mid-sentence and looks over at Harry. Who is taking his sandwich apart and putting it back together. All while rocking back and forth and counting.

"Uh, what is he doing?"

"Oh nothing, he's fine. It's just because he is sitting somewhere else. He'll be ok, it's good for him to change it up sometimes."

"Ok good, I wasn't gonna move because of his silly little routine anyways." She snickers. I laugh along but glance over at Harry and wonder if he's actually ok.

••••••

Ok everyone is different and this is a fictional story. But this is the worst thing Louis could do to Harry. He shouldn't force change on Harry. He shouldn't do it so abruptly and in a situation that is already so stressful. Especially considering Harry's spot is a pretty big change to start with. And Louis is NOT a trained professional of any kind.

The part where Harry says why his spot matters is based on a scene from "The big bang theory."

Hope you all had a wonderful Halloween!

Love you

- T xxxx