Again. Again. Again. 《 l.s》

♡ FIFTY - SEVEN ♡

“Never do or say the wrong things to the right person.” - Unknown 

“Everything comes to an end.” - Unknown

••••••

Songs

Happier - Ed sheeran

Wondering - Olivia Rodrigo & Julia Lester

••••••

* One day time jump *

[ Harry's POV ]

WEDNESDAY

“Ok class, here is your assignment for the class period. It is due tomorrow at the bell.” Mr. Russett announces, handing out papers to everyone. When the paper gets to my desk I pull out a pencil and get ready to work on it. I need to actually start doing my work.

I have straight C’s.

Report cards come home at Christmas. I have to get all my grades up before then. My grades were fine until- well, you know what. But lately, I haven't felt like doing anything. Schoolwork included. 

The paper is too dirty. 
We need a new one. 

I sigh and get up, walking up to Mr. Russett’s desk. 

“Can I have another paper?” 

“Is there something wrong with this one?” He asks, not looking up from his computer. 

“It’s- uh too dirty.”

“I don’t see any dirt.” He glances over for a second 

“Can I please just have a new one?”

“Mr. Styles, I can’t have you wasting paper all-”

“PLEASE give me another paper.” I accidentally snap, slamming my fist on the table. He looks taken back and his mouth drops open. Like a trap door waiting to swallow the poor fellow who walks over it.

I glance over and the whole class is staring at me. He is dead silent while he opens his desk and slides the paper across the table. 

I grab it and take my walk of humiliation back to the desk. Still having to dodge any feet or hands popping out to touch or trip me. I can feel Louis' eyes burning into the side of my skull as I sit back down. I debate whether or not to look over, but end up deciding on not. It would hurt too much.

To look into the eyes of the one thing I can’t have. 

So I keep my head down and work on my assignment for the rest of the class. 

The day flies by, after doing everything alone. I get into Niall’s car, he drives me home. I eat a sad dinner and then go sit and look at Instagram.

I unblocked Louis. I decided it was a petty move. And I didn’t want him to figure out I did it. So I simply unblocked him and I ignore any picture of them that pop up on my feed.

But it’s so hard.

Because he looks so happy.

It’s so hard. When -even though it's a blurry picture- you can see his bright, white smile haunting you. He is throwing up a peace sign and his arm is pathetically draped around her shoulder. 

Eventually I can’t take it anymore and resort to journaling. Maybe someday I can show someone what I write in this journal.

•••

[ Louis's POV ]

“Hey mate, wanna come over?” Niall crackles through the phone.

“Sure.” I say, trying to sound cool. When really my mind is going a million miles an hour. This is it, he has probably already dug my grave in his backyard. 

•••

“I know you guys argued.” He says as I awkwardly sit on his couch, him in the chair across from me. “What happened with you two?” 

“I said too much to ever take it back. I’m scared I'll never find something as good. ” I spill, fiddling with his pillows. He nods along, adjusting and crossing his arms. 

“What did you say?”

“Oh, I don’t know…” I trail off.

“Yes, you do.” He argues. “I know you do because I know you. I know that argument is the only thing you have been replaying in your mind for the past 4 days. And no matter how hard you try you just can’t forget it.”

“I don’t really wanna get into it, but he admitted feelings. I got scared and so I denied them, called him a few names, and stormed out.” 

“And that’s why he has been getting in and out of my car three times? And the reason why he won’t talk anymore? He just silently turns on the radio? And the reason why he wears hoodies and sweats every day? And why he practically sprints out of my car and to his house?” 

“I didn’t know he did all that.” I say quietly. 

“You need to make it right and keep it right this time Louis.”

“I can’t.” I try to tell him.

“You can, you just need to realize.” He says, getting up, clearly hinting I should leave. 

••••••

Yes, you will get to see what Harry is writing. I hate when writers make a journal and then never show what they wrote. It’s probably just my need for closure though. 

WE ONLY HAVE ABOUT 3 MORE SAD CHAPTERS YAY!!.