Again. Again. Again. 《 l.s》

♡ FORTY - TWO ♡

"The irony of losing someone you love, is that in the storm of grief. They are the only ones you want for comfort." - Unkown

"There is no comfort in the truth, pain I'd all you'll find." - George Micheal

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Songs

Just a little bit of your heart - Cover by Harry Styles

Right now - One direction

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[ Harry's POV ]

When I wake up I'm still laying on the couch. But it's dark outside now and the house is quiet. I look over and it's 7:30. My mom should be home by now.

H: Are you almost home?

A: Sorry honey, working a double shift. There is some dinner in the fridge for you.

H: Ok, love you

She doesn't respond. I sigh and get up, making myself some mac and cheese.

"Ugh, you are so needy." I complain, but eventually, I sit up and fix my messy hair from snuggling. "What do you want to eat?"

"I'm really craving kraft mac and cheese." He says with puppy eyes.

"Well you're in luck, that's the only thing I know how to make." I say while getting off the bed. We walk to the kitchen and I just stare at him while he shows me where everything is. He is so pretty in the glowing afternoon light. His hair is all messy and he keeps yawning into his elbow.

Suddenly my appetite is gone. I sit and push my food around. I scroll through my phone. I go to Louis's Instagram and he has taken down the picture of me at the football game. And it's replaced with a picture of him and Kat. I go to his profile and click the block button.

I'm tired of seeing pictures I don't wanna see.

•••

I'm lying in bed when I see one of my drawers is slightly more open than the rest. I groan and go open all the drawers and close them all. So they are all under the same pressure. But one drawer catches my eye. Inside is a tiny brown journal with a little strap holding it closed. I pull it out and open it up. All the pages are blank.

I walk over to my bed and sit down, running my fingertips over the soft leather cover. It's so beautiful, I get filled with the unbearable urge to destroy it. But not in a bad way, I wanna make it my own. I grab a sharp pencil and start inscribing things on it. I draw a few stars. But then I flip it around, and right on the front cover I push down on my pencil and write.

"She doesn't deserve his heart. Let us love."

I don't even know who I am speaking to, God maybe. But it's on there for good, a constant reminder that I'm not good enough. A permanent reminder that he had a choice between me and her.

And he chose her.

I open it up and start writing. Writing everything that comes to mind. No matter how harsh, or vulgar. I need to get it out. And now that the only person I could talk to is gone, this my alternative.

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This posted out of order so make sure and go read chapter 41!

If you live in amercia and are old enough please vote!

Love you

- T xxxx