Again. Again. Again. 《 l.s》

♡ FORTY - EIGHT ♡

“Sometimes people don't understand the promises they're making when they make them.”
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

“The tongue has no bones, but is strong enough to break a heart.”
- Unknown 

••••••

Songs

Better now - Post Malone

Cardigan - Taylor Swift

••••••

[ Harry's POV ]

“You scrubbed me off?” He asks, barely above a whisper. Looking up at me like a sad, little puppy. 

“Well- I mean I didn’t-” I avoid the question. I mean yes but I didn’t want to. I really had no choice in the matter.

“Did you or not?” He demands a straight answer. 

“Yes,” I say, looking down at my shoes. I’m so disgusted with myself, hurting everyone like this. I’m such a problem. People get rid of problems. They are gonna get rid of me. 

“I can’t touch you anymore?” He asks. I sadly shake my head, he backs away, wide-eyed. “Harry I need to tell you something-” He admits quickly, like he’s being timed. 

Niall comes bursting through the door before he can even get started. “It got a little too quiet in here.” He says. Liam trailing behind him. Like Sherlock and Watson. 

“We are fine Niall thank you very much. There wasn’t even a problem in the first place.”

“You idiot, you don’t even realize-” Niall starts to go off on him. 

“The night I called you.” I interrupt quietly. Hoping no one would hear me. But everyone goes quiet and looks at me. “I was calling to see if you could help me with this.” I motion towards my arm.

“Because you-” My voice catches. “You promised.”

“YOU promised.” He clarifies. Ok, definitely not the reaction I was expecting. 

“But it was a two-person promise.” I argue.

“Fine.” He sighs. “Next time I will answer the phone. Is that good?” 

I silently nod my head, ashamed of me, and my behavior. 

Next time 

Will there be a next time?

Positively 

But will I even bother to call that time?

Positively not.

•••

“Ok great, glad we cleared it up. See you at school Harry.” Louis says, jogging out the door and getting into his car. With Kat sitting in the passenger seat. My seat. 

Not anymore 

Right, not anymore. 

I watch them drive away, Niall and Liam go shortly after that. Leaving me alone. I plop down on the couch. And wrap my arms around me 

I need a hug 

I need to feel what I felt when me and Louis would hug and snuggle. It was like a temporary medication. Something to suffocate the voices and everything for a few hours. I don't know why I’m having so much trouble. I had never hugged someone before Louis. This is what my life was like before. 

I don’t want my life before. 

It’s like quitting cigarettes cold turkey. You think your life will be better because your old life was just fine. But you love your new life even better. Even though you know how addicting it is and in the end, it’s just gonna hurt you. You don’t wanna stop. You have to ease into it. 

The same thing goes for relationships. Me and Louis just quit cold turkey. And now Louis feels like one of those nicotine patches. For when you can’t just quit, you need something to help. And so you carry around this little patch. 

But you know the patch is just holding you together until you end it and finally are free. But sometimes being free isn’t what you want. 

Especially if you are free from the one thing you never wanted to leave. 

••••••

The next chapter... ahahha oh god you aren't ready.

Love you

- T xxxx