Again. Again. Again. 《 l.s》

♡ FORTY - SEVEN ♡

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” - Yoda

“But I can’t touch what I see 
We're not who we used to be.” - Harry Styles (Two ghosts) 

••••••

Songs

Stupid - Tate McRae

Stay - Florida Georgia Line

••••••

[ Harry's POV ]

We are all anxiously sitting in my living room. I keep running my hands down my legs.
 
Again
Again
Again

Until I touch each side with the same amount of pressure. 

“1...2...3...4..” I start counting. I rock back and forth, plug my ears, and close my eyes. 

I just want it all to stop. 

But Niall and Liam don’t send me weird looks. They don’t even bat an eye. We are all waiting for Louis to come pound my door down. Which as if on cue, a loud bang makes us all jump. 

“We could pretend we aren’t home.” I whisper. 

“It’s fine, he’s like 3 ft tall.” Liam says, getting up and opening the door. Louis is standing there with his fists balled at his sides. He looks like Daffy Duck when he gets mad if I'm being completely honest. 

“What the hell man?” He shouts, shoving Liam out of the way, storming up to Niall.

“Is there a problem?” Niall says nonchalantly. 

“Yeah, there is a big ass problem. You can’t just go around calling my girlfriend a whore! That is so disrespectful.”

“I’ll start respecting her.” He pauses and looks Louis dead in the eyes. “When you and her, learn some respect for him.” He points at me and everyone turns to look at me. I give a little wave and they all look back at Niall. 

“What are you TALKING about?” Louis throws his hands in the air. 

“Don’t play dumb, you know what you did, and so do we. We aren’t very happy.” Liam adds in. 

“What drugs are you on-”

“Treating Harry like trash, ignoring us, shoving Harry against a locker, making him walk home, making him eat alone.” Niall lists on his fingers. Each one getting louder and louder until he’s yelling in Louis' face again.

“Maybe they should have a minute alone." Liam suggests, grabbing Niall and practically dragging him away. 

“Look, Harry…” He trails off, he reaches out to touch my arm.

I flinch away

The worst part is that I didn’t choose to. 

I instinctively flinched away from Louis’s touch.

He stays quiet, either at a loss for words. Or maybe he’s so mad at me he can’t speak. He gets a little closer and reaches for me again. 

I scoot away. 

His eyes go through the five stages of grief. And settle on sadness, making me feel outrageously guilty. I would let him touch me, but I don’t wanna have to scrub again. 

“Harry what are you doing?” He reaches again. I move like we are playing a sucky game of tag. 

“Don’t ‘what are you doing’ me” I say a little louder than I meant. He looks taken back. “Don’t act like- like everything is just fine.” 

“Harry everything is fine! You and I made up and now everything can go back to normal.” He tries to persuade me. 

“No, it can’t! Because I'm gonna mess up again and you're just gonna leave me. Again. Because it’s always Harry. Alone. Scrubbing everyone off. Even you.” I gush before I can stop myself. 

“You scrubbed me off?” He asks, barely above a whisper

Fuck 
 
••••••

Not gonna leave you on a cliffhanger so another update in a little bit!

Love you

- T xxxx