Again. Again. Again. 《 l.s》

♡ SIXTY - TWO ♡

Cliche warning please don’t attack me. It hurts my fragile feelings :(

••••••

“There is love without forgiveness. And no forgiveness without love.” - Bryant H. McGill. 

“Love can heal what hurt divides.”
- Francesca Battistelli (If we’re honest)

••••••

Songs 

Don’t let it break your heart - Louis Tomlinson

••••••

[ Harry’s POV ]

Louis calls four times. 

I can’t bring myself to answer it. 

He’s probably gonna ask for his stuff back. 

My phone dings, signaling that someone left a voicemail. I groan and click play. 

“Hi Harry, it’s me. Louis. Um- I completely get why you didn’t answer the phone. I’m praying to god that you listen to this voicemail. And if you haven’t already stopped this and deleted it, then please just keep listening. Let me explain myself. Harry this is gonna sound like such a lie, but it swear to you I’m telling the truth. I didn’t mean those things I said to you, Harry. I was angry, and I know that anger isn’t an apology and it doesn’t make anything I said or did even moderately ok. But I wasn't mad at you harry. I was a man at Kat and Andy. Because they-” He pauses to sniffle. 

“They blackmailed me. They told me to abandon you and date Kat or else they would tell the whole school how I was gay. And I know that was selfish but I’ve had some pretty unpleasant experiences in the past. 

 And I said- I said yes. I was so scared and I said yes. I regretted it the second the words came out of my mouth, but it was too late. And I understand if you don’t want to accept my apology. I don’t even know if I will ever be able to forgive myself. But I want you to know that I just ended it with Kat. And that month that I dated her was the absolute worst month of my life.

It was all fake Harry, anything I say about her or you. I didn’t mean it. I never loved her, I never even kissed her I swear. Along with losing you. I felt like I was losing a part of myself. I’ve been a different person since I met you, Harry. And it terrifies me to think you could be gone in the blink of an eye from a stupid decision I made. And I don’t care if everyone in the world knows that I'm gay. If I get you back that’s all I care about. You are all I care about. And even if we have to start from the bottom up. I’ll do it, it's gonna be hard. We are gonna have to work at it every day, but I want that because I want you. I hope we can still be best friends. And I hope you can forgive me. I cannot tell you how sorry I am Harry. I was so wrong and I don't think anything I can do will make you forgive me. I know you will probably never be able to fully trust me. I ruined that bond. But I just need you back in my life. I’m really sorry Harry. You are still my little butterfly. Goodbye H, please call me back. Or something so that I know you got this.” 

I sit there in shock, almost like the day we 'broke up'. But this is a different type of shock. That shock was from hurt, misery, despair. This is from relief, surprise, confusion. 

It was all a lie?

I don’t know if this is a good or bad thing. 

I can’t breathe. 

This is too much. 

I need to see him. 

••••••

I did sneak a quote from “the notebook” in there.

Again, I'm so sorry it was that cliche. I really didn’t want to do it. But it’s over and done, so now we can move on and pretend like I'm a good writer. 

I’m so excited for the rest of this book. And the books I have planned for after this. 

Love you

- T xxxx