Ceo Jeon's Little

❤sorry❤

Guys, do you know something. I had a dream. Every time I get the dream of my mom it was not dreams, they were nightmares. But today I got a beautiful dream. It was my mom. I don't remember her dress colour but I remember she was having jasmine Flowers on her head. She was very pretty. I tried to touch her forehead but she hissed in pain. I took away my hand and asked if it was paining. She nodded and mumbled a yes. Then she hugged me tightly I can feel her warmth, she patted my shoulder and told me she was under medication that's why she didn't come to visit me. She told that she was fine and she will never leave and she was back. I completely believed her and I thought that it was real. I didn't let her go and cried on her shoulder. She patted and said that she was real. I nodded and observed her closely. She was different. I just can't explain she was glowing, beautiful, sweet. But the back of her head was not round. It was slightly inward. I don't know how to explain it. In one word it was not normal. And that's when it hit me. She covered her head with jasmine flowers just to hide them. I didn't say anything and continued to play with her warm and chubby hands. She wears a lot of rings on her fingers while she was telling me how she missed me. Suddenly I said sorry for not talking to her 'that' day. She told that it was fine and she was not mad at me anymore. She had her beautiful smile that I loved so much. God, I don't know how to describe that smile of hers. After a few minutes, we were in a theatre. I sat next to her but suddenly someone approached us. It was my dad. He looked at me and asked me to leave. I was hesitant but my mom said that it was ok. I left them to have their date and came out. And that they came out holding hands together. I squealed seeing them so happy. And in 2 seconds my dream changed and I was being chased by a dog. Not a big one tho. It was small but its teeth were so sharp. I got a bite in my hand. They after going to the doctor and getting shots. I came back to be chased but the Little dog once again. That's when I got up from my dream. Once I realised that it was just a dream I started crying. It was silent cries. Cause it is still early and everyone is sleeping. My body was shaking lightly due to the dream and it was cold too. I remember the warm hug, my mom gave. Her beautiful smile. So I sat up and started looking around. What if she's hiding here. But no one came only darkness... I sleep next to big windows, the moonlight directly falls in the room, so I usually star gaze and admire the night sky. But today when I looked out. There were no stars or the moon nor the moonlight. It was empty and dark. That made me cry even more... I thought I don't have any feelings towards my mom. I thought that I forgot her, I thought that I didn't miss her, I thought it was not that hard to live without my mom. But today's dream proved that I was wrong. It was like a slap on my face saying that 'bitch you miss your mom and didn't forget her'. Yes mom I didn't forget you. If you are sitting next to me and reading this, please remember I loved you. And I still love you with all my heart. I still remember our fights, our playtime, you being ridiculously strict, the time when you lose control and hit me and after begging for my apologies and bribing me with cute little notes saying that you didn't mean what you said, and the apology notes with chocolate or pocket money, the way you make me giggle by pinching me or tickling me. Our lazy cuddle days. and I still remember ma. You have never said no to my requests. You always buy me all the things I ask. And take me out to buy my favourite food. Ma do you remember My first long picnic. Where dad said no first but you kept the trip fees and a note saying that you will convince dad. And on the picnic day, you never left my side till you knew that I was safely settled in my train seat, you even started to cry when the train started moving saying that you will miss me a lot and dad at the side convincing you that it was ok. if I think about it now you were a bit dramatic that day, came and smack my head if I'm wrong. But I know you won't came to smack my head cause I'm telling the truth duh.
Whatever ma I have to tell you this. I don't remember your voice or your face to be honest but these memories we made together are printed in my heart, brain and soul. So don't think I forgot you. Cause I can never do that. To be honest after you were gone. I was left alone. That's the truth. I just don't make memories anymore. I stopped most of the things I do. Fearing that it will end up as nightmares... I stopped letting people into my life fearing that they will leave like you did. Ma they think that I'm an emotionless person. Even The devil you gave birth after me. She still thinks that she is her favorite kid. But mom you told that I was you favorite and she was just to keep me company, I hope that's true. And mom don't come and scare me in my dreams. Come like the angel you are. I would love to see you more like that. It was pleasant and it made me happy that you are doing fine. And lastly I love you with all my existence so don't choke me like they do in the movie for no reasons. Bye mom. 😘

I'm really sorry for the people who thought it was an update........
The above things I wrote are not some made up stories. Those are my true emotions that I poured after the beautiful dream. I want to tell you these cause I want to get these off my chest. Now I feel so much better. Irl I don't have someone to rant my feelings. They get annoyed or they won't lend their ears. So I'm very sorry if I bored you too much. Remember to always love your mom. Don't be too mad at them. Cause now I regret not taking to her. When I wanted to say that I forgave her she was no more.......