[L] To Me, The One Who Love You

20

I joined the daily drill the next day.

Even if I still felt pain in my lower body, I could not bring myself to practice at that empty ground on my own.

I am scared. I had to hide from the Princess.

Even if I was well aware that she would not look for me there again...

I liked being with her, because she had a very unique presence. It made me feel very comfortable.

I liked being with her, because she was also a woman. I had been in the military for almost three years now, and I had to face rugged military men every single day. 

I chose to keep my distance from the crowd, because I couldn't handle all the sudden contact and unreserved vulgarity from these men.

It was fortunate that Jackson did not have this problem. Otherwise, I would have stayed as far from him as possible. But even so, I was clear that the 'brotherhood' between us was reaching a certain threshold. 

If I did not 'keep my distance', Jackson might just start inviting me along for trips to the toilet, bath times at the river, or things like visiting the prostitute camp...

But in the brief time that I spent with the Princess, I felt safe. I knew with deep certainty that someone as noble as her would not be physically rude towards me, or say anything weird to me.

Actually, I had always been lonely, but it didn't feel so pressing because I had gotten used to it. But after meeting her— after experiencing that brief, comfortable and natural time together— the loneliness I had suppressed all this time rushed out all at once, enveloping me.    

That was why I, a person who always wanted to 'stay out of things', was suddenly 'overcome by impulse' in the big tent. 

A person who had always been composed, suddenly 'lost control' at that moment. All of this came about because of that brief yet wonderful moment the Princess brought to me. This was the answer that I arrived at after a long, sleepless night.

I was scared of this indescribable feeling, so mixed with loneliness, longing, attachment and conflict.

That was why I had to escape from it, once and for all.

Fortunately, I was a battalion commander now. I did not need to do intensive training. My main job right now was to supervise the training of the archers in the Flying-Feather battalion, and to guide them on their movements.

Despite looking very stern and rarely interacting with the soldiers under my command, I had already gained the sincere recognition of soldiers in the Flying-Feather Battalion through what time we had together. 

Not everyone could draw a two-stone bow, and I was only sixteen years old. General Windsor seemed to look upon me favorably, too. 

Anyone with a brain could understand that as long as I stayed alive, a meteoric rise in rank was only a matter of time.

That was why, ever since I became battalion commander, there would always be someone trying to please me, no matter how stern my face looked.

Training had already begun by the time I appeared on the drill grounds. The archers were in separate groups. 

One group stood in rows, drawing blank shots to train their muscles, while the other group practiced on targets using real arrows.

"Battalion commander!"

"Greetings to battalion commander!"

"Good morning, battalion commander!"

All of the soldiers greeted me enthusiastically as I passed by them. I nodded towards them with a stiff expression, then arrived at the target reserved for me.