"holding on is believing that there's only a past; letting go is knowing that there's a future."
- Daphne Rose Kingma
Chapter 24: Rage and sadness
"you know, you should take a break, you've been training non stop since the day Lady hadley went to talked to you privately, and it was three weeks ago"
i just hum at the prince and once again swings my wooden sword, i heard him sigh at the sides but i choose to ignore it and remain swinging my sword.
"what has been bothering you suzue?" Clive asked worriedly and once again i didn't answer and remain swinging my sword,
"we should just leave, no one could talk to her when she's not in the bed"
i felt them hesitate but then agreed at lilith's proposal and walks away living me alone in the field.
i sigh and focuses my attention on swinging my sword, i don't know what's gotten on me, i mean i am certain i disagreed at Hadley's words... i am certain i can change my sister's tragic fate, but what's gotten on me? what's freaking wrong with me?!
"aggh!" i swing my sword hard causing the wind to move with it a slice mark was left behind in the ground, feeling angry i threw my sword on the ground and screams loudly.
i'm going crazy, i hate it...
suddenly i saw a hand holding handkerchief appeared in front of my face, and that's when i felt warm liquids flowing down my eyes rapidly,
i stared blankly at the handkerchief while letting the tears flow down fast, already gave up on trying to wipe it.
"... it's tiring" i couldn't help but chuckle and accepted the handkerchief and carefully wipes my tears, i didn't know i was crying, the rage probably consumes me.
when i felt that i already wiped every liquid in my tears i stared at the owner only to stiffen when i was greeted with a pair of grayish silver eyes, they were cold yet there was a bit warmth on them.
he's very familiar... i wonder where i met him?
ah that hair... it's him
"it's you" a tiny smile curled on his lip and waited for em to say more and so i did.
"you're that kid... in the town"
he sweat drop and sigh.. " you hesitate"
well i wasn't sure and i mean he's not the only one who had a silver hair... wait yeah he's the only one i saw with one so far.
i guess, it was rude to me to forget him.
you can't blame me... i'm very focused with my sister
"why are you.."
"angry?"
"no,sad" what? do i look like that? i stared at him confused and he smiled and moves a strand of my hair that was sticking on my face
"i wasn't" he stared at me amused.
"you were, you were crying"
"an angry person can cry too" he chuckles and nods and held my hand which is still clenching, he carefully opened them and caresses my palm which is starting to bleed,
"your scream is filled with helplessness and sorrow, your eyes were crying in anger but the emotions weren't showing any signs of extreme frustration" i frown and stared at the ground,
i hop in surprise when he suddenly sat down on the ground, i stared at him in bewilderment
he pats the ground beside him causing me to feel confused,
his whole existence make me feel confuse yet curious at the same time, however i feel some kind of familiarity causing me to study him further.
"what are you waiting for? sit down" and so i did, i carefully sat beside him and watch him with caution,
he makes my heart race and my cheeks warm, which i never felt before, i push those strange feelings and silently absorb the comfortable silence
until he decided not to appreciate it and break it.
"do you want to share it to me?"
"i can't" his eyebrow rose and he stared at me in puzzlement,
"why not?"
"because i don't know"
"oh... then tell where it started"
"it's about this otome game.." and i told him everything,
when i woke up in the womb how i count the hours that i spent in the dark, how a kind man save me from the woods covered in blood,
how i acted like a kid and how the card chosen me at its holder, i also told him the meeting i have with the duke which sooner lead me to thinking his my dad and it turns out that he is, and how i met my sister and hadley and the three.
i also told him the fight hadley and i fought, and especially the game she shared to me, he keeps on nodding when i realized he might not believe what kind of nonsense i was saying,
"i mean i know you won't believe me but-" a finger stops me from talking and i stared at him startled,
he chuckles and removes his finger.
"Suzue... you might be angry because when you thought you finally find the perfect life you want, a new beginning and it turns out you were still holding to the past, you were still wishing to go back, yet you also want to stay... to make another memories filled with new people"
i remained silent and started decoding his words,
"you want to be smart, you want to have your own life, a life that you won't be following someone, someone that would decided the things for yo to do, you don't want to be the peyton Kalid, you want to be new... and the identity of suzue reed is the best option..."
"...however, you found out that you are unconsciously finding someone to hold, someone to follow, and hadley keeps on reminding you about that... Peyton, the rage you think you felt is the rage you feel about your selfishness of finding your worth and being"
he's right i do feel that...
come to think of it, since the first time i met lilith i keep on following her, sticking to her like a glue, i even stole father away from her like how i stole hadley's parents away from her...
i am really selfish...
YOU ARE READING
Suzue Reed
Fantasy"The Priestess" is a very well-known otome game that turned into a light novel become a manga and got adapted into an anime. Hadley was very obsessed with that game. So, when it become a light novel she screamed and dance happily. And this isn't an...
