Only

Ten

Kai

Claire and I had broken up due to the fact that she gotten drunk at a house party and tried sucking Shadow's dick. Right in front of me. Trying to undo his zipper and all.
"You never show emotion; I wonder if you will with my mouth on your dick?" She had purred as I entered the room. I raised my eyebrows as Shadow met my eyes, leaning back in the chair and not doing anything to push her off as he simply looked at me, as if to say, you made her your girlfriend? Idiot.
I hated how I could read his expressions and thoughts so easily.
And how when I cleared my throat, Claire looked back at me an simply giggled, looking unashamed. We should have a threesome, I fantasize about it all the time, she had told me when I demanded to know what the hell she was doing. Oh it's just Shadow!
What the fuck that was supposed to mean, I had no idea.
Sure, I was a player and have been around, but with Claire, I imagined a different way. I imagined us together. Forever. But walking in on that, I felt betrayed, no I felt stupid. When I confronted Shadow later he told me what I saw is all that happened. Maybe she smelled you coming and thought you'd be into it, he shrugged.
"Are you ok? You're flushed," she was saying now as I blinked, clearing my thoughts. She had just been drunk and having fun, but I had taken it as a betrayal. What did I expect? It's wasn't like years from now we would be in each other's lives. We had college to experiment and do wild shit, dating in high school was just practice for later. I knew that.
But still I burned as I looked at Claire.
And a sudden unwanted thought hit me, one I never allowed myself to think of before.
Was I truly mad at Claire for trying to get Shadow because I cared for Claire? Or was I jealous that someone had pawed at Shadow's junk?
He had always been my shadow. He was my legit shadow. Barely talking to anyone, never smiling or laughing for anyone but sharing that only with me. My neighbor. My best friend. Mine.
"I'm fine," I snapped at her, suddenly feeling very hot and itchy as I moved around her and stalked off. Hot rage filled me at how much my thoughts were spiraling.
I could feel Claire following me.
"Wait Kai, what happened this summer - I'm sorry! I was drunk and -"
I spun around. "Look, I don't care about that or you Claire, I'm over it," at that moment Shadow had decided to come inside and our eyes met over Claire's head.
To anyone else he looked calm, cool and collected. But I zeroed in on the tick of his jaw. I could tell he was about to growl and snap. Oh no. Not in front of Claire! She was a werewolf, not a human. And we would be busted.
"Just leave me alone Claire," I threw out and all but ran into the nearest men's bathroom. "Fuck!" I screamed as I punched and kicked at the walls and stalls. I spun when the bathroom door opened.
Shadow.
Of course.
Breathing heavy, I hated how he looked at me. How his eyes seemed to burn my soul.
Wordlessly, he walked up to me and brushed the back of his knuckles across my cheek before leaning in to kiss me. My breath caught in my throat as he pulled away just as quick as he had leaned in.
More than I hated him touching me and cumming on me, I hated him kissing me. It was too personal. Too raw. Bending over and letting him rut against me felt somehow more dignified than kissing. The rutting was our wolves just trying to bust a nut and not caring. But kissing? How could I justify that? How could I reason that away? I couldn't. So I loathed it.
And yet I never shoved him away when he kissed me. Instead when he leans his face towards mine, I find myself holding my breath in anticipation. 
"I'm sorry," he said as he was always saying lately before he turned and left me there.
I couldn't remember the last time I cried, but in that moment I wanted to.
It was all too much. A single tear escaped that I angrily wiped away.
Instead, I told myself to man up, hearing it as my father once used to shout at me, and then I headed to class, avoiding Shadow for the rest of the day.