Only

Twelve

Shadow

"Thanks again for the ride home," Blue told me as I pulled up to his house. The kid all but begged me for a ride home, and catching me off guard as I had rushed out of the school to escape the urge to go back to Kai and force him to submit to me. His wolf to mine.
I felt bad for using the kid to get Kai to give a fuck. It was wrong and I shouldn't have done it. But I wanted to show Kai that he would care if I was with someone else. If he pushed me away, this would be the result. I couldn't just remain his shadow forever, forever lonely and never loved back.
And he had to know this was more than what our wolves wanted, a friend wouldn't burn up over the other getting with someone else. I had to make him see that.
But using Blue to do that was so wrong. And now I would have to right that wrong. Besides, it could backfire and cause Kai to see someone else too. Seeing Claire infront of Kai filled my head with that fear.
When Blue reached out for my hand, I pulled back.
"Look Blue," I started and it instantly made him tense up, the poor guy. "I feel like I should let you know, there's someone else. It was wrong of me to lead you on as if there wasn't," I told him honestly. I didn't know how else to approach it.
Blue sighed as his dainty shoulders sagged forward.
"Of course someone as hot as you wouldn't go out with a geek like me," his cheeks brightened as his hand tightened on his school bag.
"Hey," I snapped, "Don't talk about yourself like that. You're a catch," I chucked him under his chin. "I'm just hopelessly in love already, have been for longer than I've known you."
Blue smiled. "Wow, you're so transparent dude. I don't know how anyone hasn't seen it before."
I froze. "What do you mean?"
"Oh come on. The only one you ever pay attention to is Kai. Doesn't take a genius to put that together. Look, I have amazing gaydar. And he's straight as an arrow. So good luck with that."
An arrowhead maybe. But I wouldn't correct Blue.
"You're right. Which is why I'm so fucked," I admitted, at least that.

🐾🐾🐾

Later that evening, I found myself at the party. I had a feeling Kai had come here, when I didn't sense him in his house. He was going to do everything possible to push me away from his mind. And away from him.
I couldn't allow that. I was too much of a selfish bastard. I couldn't lose Kai. And giving him his space would do that. He'd build his walls back up. He'd guard himself from me.
And he was mine. My wolf was growling inside at the thought of him hooking up with someone else all because of that dumb stunt I pulled with Blue.
I paused as the possessive thoughts hit me. Was that really my motive for coming to this party? If I couldn't have him, no one could? It was shitty of me to have come, I realized as I looked up at the navy blue paneled house that had loud music blaring from it. Kai would do anything to keep his omega secret and me causing him fear to bend to my will wasn't very best friend like of me. I was already causing him so much harm, being near him. How many times will I have to apologize to him before I realized my only option was to stay away from him. I was toxic. My wolf was definitely toxic.
The thought had me backing away from the house.
I was nothing but a bully. Kai reacted to me as any omega would to an alpha. I had tried forcing a relationship, taking advantage of him and his weak wolf. This was all one sided, I realized as Blues words rang in my ear. Was Kai in fact straight? Or even if he wasn't, was I even his type? Had I even bothered to wonder if maybe I was barking up the wrong tree and forever ruining our friendship?
I had been a jerk to the one person who has ever been there for me. I had to let him go if I ever hoped to have my best friend back. Becoming alpha was supposed to be a blessing. But it only felt like a curse. My wolf raged to dominate. It was turning me into a brute and causing me to come on too strongly, to push my best friend away. Damn animal instinct. I was a slave to my wolf and it sucked big time.
Balling up my fists, I turned away from the house.