Only

Fourteen

Shadow

Watching Kai and Claire flaunt their relationship in front of everyone, hurt. But not as much as the pain of having to slam my fist over and over into the first tree I found when I ran out of the back of the school. Every instinct told me to rip the two apart.
Images of me killing Claire and fucking Kai on top of her dead body filled the darkest parts of my mind.
I could feel the break in bones and the tear in my skin as I kept hitting the poor tree with all my strength. Causing dents as if the tree was made of clay and not  wood. By the time I was unable to punch anymore, the instinct was still strong.
In order to keep my cool, and Kai's secret, I had to leave school before my wolf tore out and made me run them down. I wanted him so bad I could barley breath. It felt like hate.
But I couldn't hate Kai no matter how hard I wanted to.
He made it clear he didn't want me. Or want to want me. He was so stubborn, I wouldn't be surprised if he simply just refused to be an omega and his wolf changed back to beta.
Maybe it would be better if I stayed away from him.
"That was harsh," Blue's voice called out. I looked up to see him jogging towards me. Taking in a deep breath, I realized I was shaking. The world felt as if it were vibrating. "Ya know, it's better this way though," he continued when he came to stop a foot away from me. His words made me grit my teeth in annoyance. "Better to see now than to continue on pining ya know?" His voice was getting lower as he steps tentatively closer as if I were an injured wolf animal he was checking on.
Which was a pretty accurate description.
"Blue..." I warned as he stepped so close, the tips of our shoes were touching. He reached up a hand And ran it down my chest. And winced when I reached up and squeezed his wrist. "I don't-"
"It's ok," he was whispering now as his pupils dilated and he licked his lips. "I'm not asking for anything serious," he flexed his hand as he said this, but I held on still. "It's just instinct right? We don't have to be official or date or anything like that, just causal fun?" He smiled up at me, this elf of a boy with longer and fuller lashes than any woman's as he licked his lips again. I could feel the need And anticipation rolling off of him. And he was right. The need to dominate Kai was still strong inside of me. I could turn that on Blue. And Kai would be safe from me. And I wouldn't have to run away as I had started to think about before Blue found me.
Like he said it was animal instinct to be close, kiss and fuck. We didn't have to announce we were together and date and say I love you.
Which was good. Because there wasn't room in my heart for any one else. I'm sure if someone cut me open and looked at my heart, Kai's name would be engraved onto it.
With a growl rumbling deep inside of me, I spun us around and shoved Blue roughly into what was remaining of the tree that I destroyed and pressed my body close to his. A low moan fell from his lips as I ducked my head and captured his mouth with mine.
The moment he opened for me I was licking into his mouth. And instantly felt how wrong it all was.
It wasn't anything like kissing Kai. I felt nothing. He didn't battle My tongue with his like Kai would. Wasn't making the noises of need like Kai would. He wasn't a bad kisser. There just wasn't any passion behind it. Other than his dramatic moans as his greedy little hands moved over my body.
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Everything screamed in me and it made me growl in frustration as I threw myself harder into the kiss, grabbing Blue into my arms and lifting him up until his legs were wrapped around my waist and I was pressing him hard against the tree as I grinded against him.
It was so easy for Kai to kiss someone else. So easy for him to hook up with someone else. He thought I had some kind of control on him but I realized in this moment it was Kai who controlled me.
Because even though it was easy for Kai to move on. It wasn't for me. Not even to be with someone in just a sexual way.
Pulling away, I felt cold as I gently placed Blue on his feet, watching his wide eyes as he steadied himself, his face flushed as he blinked slowly at me with a grin that slipped once he saw my face.
"Im really sorry Blue, but I just can't," I admitted. Before I could see his reaction, I shifted and tore off into the woods behind him..