ch.13Old Bonds New Beggining

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  HER POV~

I desperately tried to calm my wildly beating heart. The fuzziness in my head and the ringing in my ears were making it harder to concentrate on breathing.

It was not real, There was no griver here, I told myself.

well, it was real but inside my head and not real in the sense of reality.  My mind retorted back and I didn't know how that was even possible, god that didn't make any sense but still made soo much sense. I didn't know how either that was possible

I gave up on making sense of that and looked at the black cat in my lap.

~master are you fine * meow*~ What the heck did the black blur of a cat just speak?!

It took me a moment to clear my mind of the after-effects of being in my mindscape for too long.

Memory after memory hit me like a  bullet train and I fell back on the bed with a groan

Me waking up as harry potter, Talking to Darkfang, shopping, Phantom, Grimmauld place, Kreature, Dudley, The elves, Sirius, Letters, Azure, The books, Spells, Potions, Locket, sorting, Classes, Duncan, hissed conversations................... And so on it went for what felt like hours but were moments.

I took in a ragged breath and pulled Phantom closer to me. I took in the scent of the pears that still clung to her fur even after a week of washing her up. I buried my nose in her soft fur and took in another sniff the smell helped me ground myself and wasn't it amusing that pears symbolized comfort along with a bunch of other things.

After another deep breath, I pulled myself together and released Phantom, who was as still as a log in my clutches

~ massster you smell of fear ~ Azure who looked like a blue rope half hanging-half clinging to my bedpost hissed in a soft tone that I hadn't heard before. How she managed to sound different while hissing, all the same, was beyond.

~ Yesss ~ I breathed and practically hissed out   ~ I am afraid ~ I admitted and she tilted her head in a way reminiscent of a puppy, I would have said that she looked cute even, if not for the slight leaning of her body that added to her dangerous demeanor to her making it look like she was ready to strike.

~ There isss no predator here ~  she said confused ~ Are you afraid of being away from our nest?~ I smiled despite the humorousness of the situation, She didn't understand that I woke up from a my-personal-alive-inside-my-head nightmare but still made quite a good guess.

I nodded ~ I'm afraid of the predator who Protectsss my nessst, I know it won't harm me but I can't help it  ~

I tried to simplify it as much as I could, Azure didn't grow up around humans so these things were out of her capacity, she couldn't understand all this, not like Phantom who spent most of her life around humans, it was a wonder that she could even understand English by being in contact with mad portrait and faulty devoted elf.

Both my non-human companions watched me for a moment

~ Fearing a Predator isss natural, It helpsss to keep you away from harm, but one must overcome thisss fear to sssurvive ~ She hissed back in a tone that I knew was meant for kids.

~ I know ~ I will remove the grivers from the maze, I knew they will not harm me, after all, they were a part of my mind and I knew that fearing them was really childish of me but I just couldn't help it.

I feared bugs and with a good reason too, they were creepy and caused diseases and ruined crops, I didn't know how a person could tolerate them. My fear of bugs was intensified by my mother's OCD and her collection of diseases and horror-filled stories from her job as a doctor.

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