A love unexpected | kth

9.

Walking out of that room formed a feeling of power that escaped me, one that had been locked away for so long.

I wave goodbye to Lois, who is engrossed in her work, and walk out of the grand doors, feeling on top of the world.

The Kim Taehyung has just given me a job modelling for him, earning money I never thought I'd make. Compared to last week when I was earning minimum wage at my ex's shitty cafe, it feels like I've won the lottery.

I check my phone and see an abundance of texts from my friends.

Jin:
Hey! Jimin told me about your meeting! Break a leg!

Jimin:
Remember me when you start working for the hot designer. *jealousy* hahah

Jennie:
Sup bitch how did it go? I'm bored and in need of deets! x

I chuckle to myself reading the messages my friends sent me, while replying to them all.

On my drive home I blast my music with the biggest smile on my face, total euphoria pouring out of me.

~

1:30

I chuck my bag on the sofa, walking to the kitchen to make myself lunch. A post it is on the fridge that read 'gone to work, tell me everything when I get home.'

I smile, gently peeling it off and opening the fridge. My hand reaches for the leftover takeout but a tang of guilt runs within me quickly. It's one of those days for me. Debating wether or not to eat is a constant dilemma in my mind, despite desperately trying to fight it. I pull my hand away and only grab an apple, feeling defeated in the battle.

I decide not to let this ruin my wonderful day, for it has destroyed far too many before.

Filling up a big glass of water I quickly rehydrate and distract myself scrolling through Tik tok, trying to pass time till Jennie returns.

Every once in a while I recall the events that just occurred, causing my stomach to churn with ecstasy. From only a few hours ago I took my first step out of my shell.

                                          ~

6:00

The ceiling fan is spinning around like a tornado. Lying on my snug bed staring into space, my room is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. I gently shut my eyes, collecting my thoughts and trying to pass time, as the silence of my serene area envelopes me.

The second I hear the key in the door I jump up from my meditative state, ecstatic.

"JENNIE FINALLY! I GOT THE JOB!!" I yell to the shocked girl as she walks through the doorframe holding a bag of groceries.

"AHHH!" She squeals as she rushes into the living room dumping her bags and wrapping me in her arms.

"Tell me everything!"

And I did. Each and every wonderful part of my day. From the kind receptionist in the beautiful studio, to my new alluring boss, to the red dress that will be forever in my hopes and dreams to one day endorse.

"That's amazing! I'm so proud of you!" She says honestly. My eyes crease from my grin.

"Thanks boo." I wink at her, laughing.

Suddenly it hits me, "I have zero modelling experience, so basically have no idea what I'm doing, so I'm just gonna pull this out my ass but oh well!" I feel my nerves begin to raise but lightly laugh it off.

I fall onto the plush sofa, moving some of Jennie fashion magazines, and grabbing onto a pillow.

"Come on don't be stupid, it's annoying." She responds, sensing I might feel a bit overwhelmed.

Feeling my worries begin to be vocalised, I blurt out, "But what if I can't pose, or the clothes don't look right, or I make an idiot of myself? What if I fail?" Nervously fiddling with the corner of the pillow as my hands shake strongly.

Jennie looks straight into my eyes with a death stare.

"Ok first of all, the clothes part isn't your job, secondly, you are so stunning bitch the posing and pictures will come out amazing, and finally, anytime you've wanted it to do something enough, you achieved it. So I have full faith you can do it again." Exhaling forcefully, her reassuring monologue comes to a close.

"Ok ok panic over, thank you." I sigh, feeling my worries fizzle away. Our combined excitement climbs its way back and my paranoia is replaced with bliss.

My mind boggles at the thought only one week ago, I was stuck in my safety net. After being forced into employment for my shit ex-boyfriend as I had no other option, this job was my one way ticket to freedom.

Casting back over my tainted memories with Sam, my phone buzzes. Speak of the devil. I show Jennie my screen to which see sends an immediate look of disgust. Although I have so much hatred for him, there's always a part of me that still aches of nostalgia towards him.

Reluctantly I accept the call. "What do you want Sam?" I sigh, sounding uninterested.

"Lara I haven't been able to think about anything but you for 3 days. I miss you. Please one more chance, I promise I'll be better. let's meet for coffee or something. I have so much to say to you, starting with I'm sorry." He rants.

Despite all of the pain this one man has made me endure, whenever he says these same words to me I feel myself weakening, allowing myself to give into his promises, his lies, his manipulation. Because the lows are so low, but the highs are so high.

"I- no Sam. I'm not going through this again." I put on a brave front, covering up my pain.

Jennie in the meantime is intently listening.

"Please Lara, I'll change for you." He begs, to which Jennie overhears and starts mouthing 'no' dramatically. I feel like I'm being pulled between crossroads, as if magnetised towards him.

"Sam I-"

"I love you."

Those three words stab me like a dagger. He's said this before, as if latching me back to his ball and chain. And I feel shame to say it worked in the past. But it's different this time. Deep down in my mind I know he's only saying this to get me back, to reclaim me as his own.

And however much I want to fall into his trap once more, to return those words that I know to be untruthful, I won't. It hurts too much.

Jennie rubs my back, helping me gain strength for what I am about to say.

"No Sam. Those words don't cancel out all you've done. One day I hope to forgive you, but I will never be with you again." I'm pushing back tears. "Please-" I feel myself stutter. "Please don't call me again."

And without waiting for his pathetic response I hang up. Followed by a waterfall of freeing tears.