Sumanika ~ The Prince's Widowed Bride

26 ~ Secret

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Agastya POV

At times, you want something very dearly in your life. You pray for it, every moment. You crave for it. And, sometimes, It feels like if you do not get it, your life will be over. You go through it. Look at the days passing by, time slipping through your hand, the urge gets intense, the hunger increases, your stomach feel empty yet full. You cannot describe what is happening and you do not realise that it is happening. You are getting what you are afraid the most. The failure, the down of your life. When you are expecting something, very dearly but life had planned quite opposite for you.

I went through this almost three years ago. A beautiful, young woman stole my heart. The first glimpse of her was bathed in the orange hues of the early morning. I was bounching, in sync of my horse while crossing the grassfields of out skirts of Suryagarh. The day was another day of my life when I was coming back from one of my encounters with the Prince of a small state.

Her convoy was walking through the muddy road. As I came closer to the palanquin, thinning my brows, I noticed a beautiful Princess peaking outside. Her eyes were doe, her face small, brows thick, smile bright and standards high.

My heart skipped a few beats. My horse slowed down as I stared at her, stealing all the glances available in that moment.

But, as soon as she disappeared before my eyes, the darkned past of mine brought me back to the reality. A hope with a light that maybe she would understand and put some trust in me, I stated to search for her.

And, I did find her through a friends wedding. A month long wedding brought us closer from strangers to friends but as I tried to walk further from friends to lover, by revealing my past to her, she broke my heart with a few words.

"You are a manwhore and I will die before getting married to one,"

I came back home, tried to get over her constant thoughts. Her words cut me deep, brutally. But, the reality that she made a choice and I was not that helped me to move on from her.

For days, I questioned myself. I hated myself because I was not the one she wanted. I was not good. I was not upto the mark. I drowned deep into the well of negetive conscience that nobody deserved a person like me.

Until, I met a pair of eyes that looked me other way around. The gaze that looked worried for me, happy for me, not questionable but she still did not know all about me.

"What do you mean?"

She questioned and I could not help but look into her eyes, trying to wash away the memory, still haunting me, with a smile.

"One is dead for you, the other is dying for you, and one is waiting outside to die for you,"

I muttered in a slow voice and stared at her hazed eyes, flushed cheeks and those red beautiful lips looking a thousand times more attractive after an orgasm.

She gulped nervously and thinned her brows with questioning face.

"Means? Do not tell me you are going to kill him,"

She wispered in a slow voice and I pulled her closer in a loose hug, saying.

"You should make a choice for yourself. Everyone deserves better,"

I did not come here to do what happened in a heat of moment. I wanted to see her before leaving for Mehrangarh. But, the things went slightly out of control and the it happened. The soft corner in me for her, was getting bigger now. It was taking too much space that I hardly reminding myself that I might end up disappointing her.