It's Bittersweet (OHSHC Fanfic)

I'm Cold

A/N: This is really short, but it's something! Hope you enjoy and as always,  be sure to comment your thoughts. That's what inspires me to keep writing. It's what helped me continue this story for so long. I am so grateful to all of you. With that being said, back to the story! 😊

I'm cold.

The eerie emptiness my body was so accustomed to, the feeling I had tried my hardest to bury deep inside me so I would never have to acknowledge its presence ever again...was back. The bitter cold seeped into my bones my hands clenching around myself painfully but I didn't release my grip, because if I stopped feeling the pain then I'd feel nothing and that was terrifying. The pain helped me keep my last remaining shred of sanity in the tiny dark room I was in. I was alone, somehow I was thankful, thankful that the two men who brought me here were nowhere around to hurt me anymore than what they already had but...a tiny part of me was desperate for someone, for anyone really to walk through the locked door that was now littered in scratch marks from my nails. My mind flashed to the moment Jun had thrown me into this room, how I desperately fought to somehow claw my way through the door. My fingers, now caked in dried blood ached from the damage I had done to them. I had even lost a couple of nails in my frantic panic.

How long had I been here?

I had lost all sense of time at some point. With nothing to do but sit with my thoughts my brain had time to look over every aspect of my life and critique it.  Like that feeling you have when you want to sleep but your brain goes into overdrive and you find yourself remembering everything you definitely didn't want to. Except, with all the time I found myself having, my brain hasn't really stopped. My body refused to relax my muscles remained stiff and tense leaving me with no option but to stay awake, in the state I was in, sleep was almost impossible.  While my mind raced, the memories that seemed to hit me especially hard were the ones of my friends. If I had known this was going to happen, would I have done things differently? Their hurt expressions constantly flashed through my head as I realized that that was the last time I would ever see them. Somehow, the thought hurt more then the pain in my fingers.

"I love you, every single thing about you...I need you to believe that."  Honey's words echoed around me. I was happy. I was crushed, devastated, furious, confused,scared but I was so happy. Why didn't I let him know that? My regrets ate me up inside and Wanted to scream the thoughts away but I was too weak to move, let alone scream. There was only one thing I could do to distract myself. In the back of my memory, a lullaby played on repeat from a time when for the first time, I stopped feeling alone. My throat was dry, going what I can only assume was days without water would do that to anyone. In a barely audible whisper, and with a cracked voice the words escaped from my thoughts.

Don't you dare look out your window, darling everything's on fire

The war outside our door keeps raging on

Hold on to this lullaby even when the musics gone,

Gone.

Just close your eyes

The sun is going down

You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now

Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound.

I hummed the melody to myself, it was so quiet even I had trouble hearing it. The sound of keys and locks opening caught my attention immediately as I watched the door slowly creak open. Light flooding the room bit by bit. My eyes took time to adjust so it was difficult to make out the man in front of me but it wasn't hard to guess who it was.

"Ami." Jun started. My eyes finished adjusting and I could now see the smile plastered on my best friends face as he looked down at me with a satisfied expression I had never seen before. " He's ready for you now."

The words sent panic throughout my body once more. My heart hammering away into my chest. Almost as if it was trying it's hardest to escape and abandon me for safety. Jun noticed my fear and his expression morphed into one of excitement. I pressed my lips together tightly to keep the bile rising in my throat at bay.

" I wouldn't keep him waiting...you know better than anyone that he is an impatient man." Jun laughed. The enjoyment he got from this was disturbing. I couldn't hold it in anymore. Whether from fear or disgust I don't know but I quickly turned my head to the side and proceeded to vomit on the tile beneath me.

"Lovely." He wrinkled his nose at me sarcastically. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand before glaring at him.

" Burn in hell." I croaked. Jun froze, his eyes burned with anger for just a moment before disappearing. He chuckled at me before reaching down to grab ahold of my arm. He pulled me up from the ground and into his body. I wanted to throw up again, being so close to him was revolting but I didn't have the energy to stand on my own or push him away.

"Let's go together." He laughed eerily. My face went pale as my eyes widened. For the first time, I truly realized the situation I was in. I didn't really know this man. There's nothing stopping him from killing me. My breath hitched in my throat and my eyes watered at the thought but I refused to let tears fall. If that was the case, I wouldn't go down easy.