Scp Doctor Oneshots (Mostly Bright)

Scp Doctors as things ive said

Clef- I'm just sayin, food is a lie the government tells us we need so they can make more money

Gears overhearing clef- I hope natural selection kills you soon, we can't have you near children either.

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Glass- I like my plant!

Bright- yeah?

Glass- yes, and I'm gonna name him tod!

Bright- perfect, you can set him on your desk and he will always be there.

Glass- hurray! A permanent friend!

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Bright- I look stunning

Kondraki- you look like you fell out a 7 story window and on your way down got struck with lightning and had a plane hit to you

Bright- wow konny, that's a bit specific don't ya think?

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Iceberg- it's colder than a witches tit out here!

Clef- oh really? I hadn't noticed, maybe it's because we'RE IN FUCKING ANTARTICA ICEBERG!

Iceberg- alright alright, you don't have to yell, I get it I'm stupid and cold

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Gears- if I ever say I'm happy just know that it means clef has died and I no longer have to deal with him.

Gears- I'm happy.

Iceberg- wait a minute-

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Kondraki- don't ever come near me or my son again!

Clef- or what? You gonna hit me or something? Oh I'm so scared!

Kondraki- no I'm gonna shoot you in the head, cut up your corpse, and feed it to your dog.

Clef- Jesus christ ok man

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Bright- if I don't live through this just know my last words were probably 'I'm so gonna regret this in the morning'

Glass- bright your being dramatic

Bright- spiders are fucking terrifying! I don't want to have to deal with this

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Rights- maybe if I just doodle my worries away I'll be happy

Iceberg- you can't draw yourself happy and expect to feel happy, that's not how that works

Rights- well fuck I'm out of ideas then

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Gerald running from a monster - this was never a good plan! Why did I agree to this?!

Bright right beside him sprinting- I don't know why you even listened to me! It s always bad to listen to me!

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Bright- I'm having a fucking breakdown and clef is eating frootloops?!

Clef- it just goes to show that I'm better than you

Bright- ...

Clef- you want some?

Bright- yeah

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Glass crying his eyes out- why the fuck me?!

Kondraki- stop crying, you look terrible and I don't know how to comfort you in this situation.

Glass- fuck you, you dick! I didn't ask for you to be here!

Kondraki- Jesus christ, this is what you look like when not playing happy therapist?

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Gears- I love you iceberg

Iceberg- holy f-ing shit! Do you mean that?

Gears- why would I tell you something I didn't mean?

Iceberg- *dying from gears and his love for gears*

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Gears- I hate everyone here.

Gears- except for iceberg.

Gears- he's cute.

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Bright- I absolutely hate whatever the fuck that is

Clef- those are just mannequins?

Bright- those little shits can burn in the firey pits of hell

Kondraki- is there something you want to tell us? Like, I dunno, why the hell you are scared of mannequins?

Bright- they look like humans, they can be possessed by ghosts, not to mention there creepy as fuck!

Clef- ok then, moving on

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Glass stubbing his toe- MotherFucker! God damnit, not one day without tragedy?!

Iceberg overhearing him- glass? Are you- are you ok?

Glass- when has anybody ever been ok?! Name one person who wasn't mentally ill!

Iceberg- right let's get you some whiskey

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Take this while I have like 3 things in my drafts.

Some of these lines were changed up to better fit the character but either I have said them or a friend has.

Anyway have a good day/night/afternoon/mornin!