Don't Speak (SBI Angst)

4

TW
Anorexia, bulimia (forcing yourself to throw up), and self harm. Stay safe!!!

Techno POV:

"TOMS!Not now." I notice Phil tip his head in my direction but I don't care, I suddenly can't get that memory out of my head.

I'm sitting on the bathroom floor, my exacto knife to my wrist and crying. Crying because Im so fucking weak I can barely stop myself from leaning over the toilet any second and throwing up the food I just ate. I haven't eaten a meal and not thrown it up for about a month now. But this past week I've even thrown up small things like granola bars and chips. I've made countless marks on my arm and I decide fuck it. suddenly I'm kneeled over the toilet, vomiting out what used to be on the cold plate that's sitting in my room. My sleeve is still rolled up as I jam my fingers down my throat. I know I'm not fat, I know I'm underweight, but that's what I strive for, the control over my body, over anything. And suddenly I'm throwing up. But it's red- really red- it's blood. I'm throwing up blood. I stop throwing up and realize that I have to tell Phil that I'm threw up blood and start crying. I don't care who hears me, the door is locked. I'm crying as loud as possible, the exacto knife covered in blood by the sink, my sleeve rolled up, covered in cuts and dripping blood, slowly, but it is dripping down my arm. The toilet water filled with blood and the seat splattered with blood, and there's probably blood lingering on my lips or on my teeth. I don't care. I'll clean it up whenever I leave but for now I'm gonna cry. Phil went to the store and I'm pretty sure tommy went with him.

Then suddenly the door opens and there's a gasp, a loud one.

The door wasn't locked.

Tommy didn't go with Phil.

"T-techno?!"
"Tommy get out! Fuck don't mention this to Phil why are you home- I'm fine I'll clean this up but don't mention this to Phil-"

"I don't care about the mess techno! And I doubt phill would either- and fuck oh my God your arm- techno!"

I roll down my sleeve

"Fuck- tommy it's nothing go back to your room"

"What the fuck tech! I'm not going back to my room- why's there so much blood in the toilet- why did you do that to yourself- why techno why?? All I have to say is why???"

"Tommy I'll tell you everything later just don't tell Phil please tommy-"

The front door opens and closes

"HEY BOYS COME HELP ME WITH GROCERIES PLEASE!" Phil tells from upstairs

"PHIL COME UP HERE PLEASE IT'S URGENT" tommy yells

"TOMMY! WHAT THE FU-" I begin. Its to late. Phil's already up the stairs and looking at us both.

Tommy has tears in his eyes and has tear marks down his face and is shaking, and I have tears and am shaking as well, just one difference, my sleeve is about drenched in blood and my mouth has some blood on it and if you peek in the bathroom you would be able to tell what happened to me and what tommy saw.

"Boys are you al-OH MY GOD TECHNO WHAT HAPPENED AND TOMMY ARE YOU ALRIGHT BOYS WHAT HAPP-"he glances over at the bathroom and gasps, "oh my God." He sees the exacto knife "t-tech- show me your arm- the one with blood on it- p-please" he reaches for my arm and pulls up the sleeve, leaving a red tint on his fingertips as he does. He chokes on a sob and says "i- I'll get you the help you need okay tech- i-" he looks farther into the bathroom "tech did you throw up blood- And did you purposely throw up or did you feel sick-"