Don't Speak (SBI Angst)

27

TW:self harm, suicide, mental treatment/hospital mention.

Tommy POV:

Soon after techno leaves my room Wilbur enters, I honestly thought Phil would be next.

Hey. I know you were probably expecting Phil but he's not ready yet, sorry :(

"Oh. It's fine! I'm fine with seeing anyone honestly..."

I don't have much to say, just one question I guess.

"Yeah?"

Was it my fault? I mean, you called me name, not techno, not Phil, meaning I was who you were thinking about, and I bet I've been stressing you out alot too.

"Oh god- if it's anyone's fault it's not yours. I was mad at Phil and techno at the moment and you were the only other person in the house. Also you haven't been stressing me out, don't worry. This isn't as big of a deal as everyone's treating it."

That's good to know. But it is a big deal. You could have died if you lost enough blood. Why would you do that to yourself anyways? If you're okay with me asking.

"Uh... I guess I just wanted to try it? I know te-"I cough, realizing he probably doesn't know about technos self harm. "Sorry- I know someone who's done it before, and I was just so fucking upset- I wanted to try it. See what it was all about... I didn't mean to do it that deep." I'm not ready to tell him that this wasn't my first time.

I get that, but how'd you even get so deep? I've never seen anyone be able to do that much. Also remember you don't have to answer these questions they were just random things I thought about but I don't need all or any of the answers. I guess I'm just curious..?

"Oh I just... Kept going over the same cut, a new layer of skin everytime I guess..."

Yeah. Got it... I don't really have anything else to say, I'll see if Phil's ready. If he's not there's a doctor that wants to see you.

"Got it. Bye wil"

Bye Tom, things will get better :)

He shuts the door

A doctor comes in and starts talking to me while testing my breathing and blood pressure and so and so. He says he'll have to ask me a few questions .

"So, have you ever done this before? Self harm, that is."

"No."

"Hm." He writes something down.

"You didn't overdose or anything, correct? There were no signs of anything in your body. Did you mean to try to attempt suicide?"

"Jesus. No. I don't want to kill myself."

"Got it."

"Now, fill this out and I'll ask you one more time,"he hands me a paper that looks like one of those sheets that your school counselor hands out to everyone to see how everyone's doing. "Have you self harmed before? Like on anywhere? At all?"

"Jesus- I said no."

He sighs "okay." He gives me a pen for the paper and does stuff of his computer while I fill it out.

Do you ever have thoughts of hurting yourself or others?

Never others.                                                 

Is your home a safe environment?

Yes.