Don't Speak (SBI Angst)

56

Phil POV:

Me and Kristen have been staring at the ceiling, laying on her bed, in awkward silence for around 10 minutes now, then my phone ringing broke the silence.

I pick it up, techno.

"Hey, is everything alright?"

"Yeah it's fine, are you alright? You didn't tell anyone where you went after dropping off ranboo at like 5. It's 9"

"Wait it's 9- that means-" I look over at kristen "for four hours."

She just does the white guy smile back.

"Um... yeah? You were gone for four hours. Just calling cus normally you say where you are."

"I'm fine, I'm at Kristen's. I'll be home sometime tonight. Don't know when."

"Okay, bye Phil, love you"

"Bye."

I turn off my phone and Kristen bursts out laughing

"What's so funny?" I smile

"For four hours" She mocks

"Oh my God shut the fuck up" I bury my head in my hands "I should probably get going soon"

"Sighhhh" She exaggerates

She looks at me

"Didnt you wanna talk?"

"Look where that got us."

"And who's fault is that?" She accuses

"Literally yours."

"No! What the fuck dude. What would I have even done"

"That fucking 'show me' shit!"

"Oh yeah I did do that" She goes into a laughing fit

I just stare at her with a smile plastered on my face, the smile I only seem to get with her.

"You're doing your goofy smile"

"What the fuck are you on about"

"You're smiles just goofy I don't fuckin know"

Now we both go into a laughing fit

We spend the rest of the night just laughing with each other, thankfully not getting into another fight, which also means not- yeah.

I look at my phone after a few hours, fuck. 4 am.

"Dammit. I told techno I'd be home in a few hours 6 hours ago."

"Nooo" She replies sarcastically.

"I mean I do have work tomorrow too- I should go ahyways"

"You're still doing that at-home job, right?"

"Yeah, they only need me at the office sometimes."

"I can just come there with you then, I like your presence, this stupid apartment feels lonely when you don't have a roomate. It doesn't feel right."

"What about Tommy though. I feel like you're gonna stay, but techno will be pissed, he doesn't really believe shit can be fixed overnight"

"I wouldn't say anything was fixed, just on the way I guess."

"Mhm."

There's a comfortable silence for a second.

"So, can I come or not yet?"

"Well, grab whatever you need."

Techno POV:

Where is phil where is phil where is phil where the fuck is phil where the fuck is he??

Can't even do this on your own. It's pathetic techno.

Where is he where is-

I hear the front door open, thank God. It must be almost 5 am, ive been sitting on the couch waiting for him to be home to give me my meds for almost an hour.

"Techno? What's up? It's four-"

"Meds"

"Oh- fuck I'm so sorry techno-" he rushes to the medicine cabinet

I see kristen walk in behind him, well fuck me.

He hands me my pills and a glass of water, I down the pills.

"Hey tech." Kristen waves with a pathetic smile

I just look her up and down so she knows I egknowlage her

She just sighs

"Tech, please don't be like that."

I look over to kristen.

"You didn't even call- did you know how it felt to watch Phil go through a heartbreak just for him to suppress it because I have issues-"

"I've already explained it all to him techno. I don't have good reasons ill admit, but I can't do more then explain, I'm sorry. But I won't leave this time. I can't do more than say that."

"Well say that to Tommy. Watching him realize you weren't coming back was heartbreaking. He's had enough parental figures leave him."

"I will, I'm too fucking exhausted for this conversation right now though, I'll see you in morning tech." she says as she walks away to Phil's room. fuck. i hate this.

i feel like Tommy's getting better, yes he relapsed recently, but I think I was a big part of his issues, and now thats getting better. he shouldnt have to get used to having Kristen in the house again.

i sigh after saying goodnight to Phil, as he tells me to tell him if I need anything and to make sure I get to bed soon.

I pull myself off the couch and slump my way to my room.

I open my door to the same sight I left when I realized I was getting the voices, Tommy asleep on my bed.

he had fallen asleep there while playing Minecraft on his phone while I was on my PC. I decided against moving him and was simply gonna either sleep in my beanbag or not at all, I guess I'm going with the latter.

I grab one of my books off of my bookshelf, this ones one of my favorites. its the story of Theseus.

and against all my better judgement, I also grab my vape from my bedside table.

I don't need it to be fair, I've had a pretty good night. but I guess that fucking conversation with Kristen fucked me over. she shouldn't be here.

I open to the first page, and begin reading as the strawberry flavoring consumes me, as it seems to always do.

I'd like to be better, I really would, but I also know even if I got better, the day I was of age I would have unconsciously pulled myself to a gas station and let my senses be stopped just for a little while.

I'm pretty sure that's how phil described his addiction when he told me about it, that he always seemed to be better, then he'd wake up not remembering the night before and it was a horrible cycle.

another reason I'm mad at Kristen actually.

she knew Phil while he was an alcoholic, and still called him over to that bar. I mean, sure, she was drunk and not thinking straight, but I wish she would just think about shit before she went ahead and did it.

God, Tommy was right, I am a fucking hypocrite,

Wilbur POV:

I wake up for the second time

well fuck me.

I look over to my phone screen, incoming call.

Incoming call:J

Words:1002