Don't Speak (SBI Angst)

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TW:self harm, suicide, and anorexia mention

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Phil POV:

What the fuck is going on.

Techno tried to overdose, Wilbur was throwing up, and look where I am now.

A fucking hospital.

Because my son 'cut too deep.'

He shouldn't have cut at all but of course the 'too deep' Is the only issue.

I tried to comfort techno but I can't, I just can't right now.

They're going through so fucking much and I can't even tell why anymore.

I don't know enough about Wilbur, techno just seems to be having these episodes were he's not himself, which he hasn't had for a good year, and tommy... I know his past trauma with his dad, And a few homes, and the bullying, but why this time, what happened that he relapsed?

I guess me and techno kind of pushed him to the side at dinner, then pushed him away with the Wilbur thing- but is that enough to make him...?

No- no.

Maybe that was just something else he got upset about but there's no way that was all that was piled on him to get him to do...that.

I finish the paperwork and give it to the receptionist lady before sitting back down. I look over to Wilbur and am about to talk to him before realizing he doesn't have his notebook. And techno probably doesn't want to talk.

I wonder if a doctor can look for signs of anorexia in Wilbur... Speaking of him, I need to still set up a day for his social worker to come see how everythings going, and right now, not great.

They're not being neglected at home, or abused or anything, but it definitely won't look good whenever we do see him that tommy was just in the hospital and techno might be in one of his episodes, and the fact that techno and wilbur will probably not eat much if we meet over dinner or something.  They'll just all look very unwell mentally, which doesn't look good, of course Wilbur has the excuse of 'hes being fostered right now so he has a reason' but for some reason people tend to think that kids who have gotten adopted traumas is just...solved. it's not. Hell, tommy had a panic attack just last week about his dad, and I know technos still effected almost daily by...her.

Wilbur POV:

This must have been my fault. There's no way it wasn't-

He seemed so happy when we first met, he still does seem happy actually, but obviously not. I must have caused him too much stress- this is all my fault.

Techno was always cold but he seems just straight distant now, not from me in particular - but ever since the fight with schlatt- everyone.

This family was fine without me, I caused all of this.

If it wasn't for me he wouldn't have fought jschlatt.

If it wasn't for me we wouldn't be in this fucking hospital.

If it wasn't for me they would be happy. Probably would be sleeping right now, ready for school tomorrow. Now, were probably going to miss school on the second day, because Phils too fucking nice and wouldn't want to put more stress on us, I'm fine with missing school anyways.

But it's my fault. Like fucking always.

I stand up and point to the restroom to tell Phil I'll be right back, taking note of the fact technos just in a ball in his seat, all scrunched up.

This is my fault.

I walk into the bathroom and feel my pocket to grab the Altoids box once I'm in a stall.

The box doesn't want to open as easily... I look at it to see why, there's a dent right where it opens... Probably from when I dropped it earlier, just my fucking luck.

I get it open and the blade falls under the stall door.

Just.

My.

Luck.

I open the stall door to go grab it to see it's missing. I look up to see if anyone's in here, I didn't see anyone when I came in...

It's just a kid about my age. Maybe a little younger, A little older.

I go to grab it and he pulls his hand back, not wanting me to have it.

Just.

My.

Luck.

He pulls out a small note pad from his pocket, the kind of one you write grocery lists on.

Why do you want this

He writes

What the fuck?

I point to his notepad and he passes it over with a confused face

1. None of your business give it back, 2. Are you mute too?
I hand it back to him

Yup. And here I'll give it back

He goes to hand it back but quickly tosses it past me into the stall, landing in the toilet

Whoops my bad man
This asshole.

He rips out a page and hands it to me before waving and walking away, seeming quite proud of himself.

555-***-****
Ash :)

I'm assuming that's his number, as if I'd actually want to talk to him after the shit he just pulled. Whatever.

I walk out of the restrooms after washing my hands and sit by Phil.

"Thomas Watsons family?"
The receptionist calls out

"Um- yes that's us- is he okay? Can we see him?" Phil says nervously

"Hes fine, I'll lead you to his room, he's asleep right now, please don't wake him. Once he's up please only one person in the room at a time, no need to overwhelm him. Also a doctor will come in to discuss the next steps to help his mental health with his parents."

Phil nods and then we stand up, technos head still down, and start following her to a hallway of rooms until she stops at a door and opens it, letting us in.

And there's tommy. Holy shit.

The happiest person I've ever seen, has an iv in his arm next to a stitched up cut he did to himself, and looking at his face, he looks dead. He has bags under his eyes which normally wouldn't be there, he's pale, his hairs flat, which his hair is never flat, even when he just woke up. And his expression is just... An expression. No emotion at all behind that face.

What the fuck happened?

A/N: sorry if shit looks rushed recently, it is. I just started school back up and just don't feel motivated recently, I'll stay on the schedule for now, because I have like 5 pages written still but idk I might need a break in a month or two :( I hope you guys understand, I also might end up changing the schedule to just monday and friday because the wednesday is starting to get in the way. Thank you guys for all the support so far though, and I'm sorry if it doesn't seem as thought out as it was in the start. I really love this plot and book and don't think I'm doing it justice, but yeah :)

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