Don't Speak (SBI Angst)

34

Phil POV:

"Dad?where are they going to take you?" Said my 12 year old self

"It's okay Phil they'll help me, they're taking me to a mental hospital so that I don't do anything like that again, okay? I'll never hurt you or myself again, I'm sorry."

"Dad please don't go."

"I have to. You'll stay with Grandma while I'm getting better Phil, I promise I'll get better."

I get pulled away from the scene by my grandmother as the whole world around me crumbles into tiny pieces.

I'm back, now 14, and about to meet my father again. He said he'd pick me up and take us to our new home!

He pulls in the driveway and I get in the car.

"Hi philza"

Full name? Why would he call my my full name?

"Um hey dad!"

"Been awhile right? Let's just stay quiet until we're at the house, don't want to cause problems do we?"we start driving

"Um yeah"

"You mean yes sir?"

"What?"

"Don't. You. Mean. Yes. Sir? I won't repeat myself again philza."

"Uh- yes- yes sir."

"And stop with all that stuttering and 'uh' 'um' shit. It's annoying."

"Yes sir."

What is happening? This isn't my dad.

We get to the house and he unlocks the door, I walk inside, so happy to be with my dad again, and so happy to have a new start.

My dad smacks me on the back of the head, not in a playful way, just smacks me.

"Who told you you were gonna wait to start bringing shit in?"

"Sorry dad"

He hits me again

"Sir."

"Sorry sir."

Suddenly the world crumbles again and now 16 year old me is walking home in the freezing cold, bruised everywhere, with just a hoodie and my school bag.

I walk into the door.

My father walks into the room, fuck. He's drunk again.

"Don't track any dirt or snow or anything through the house philza." He says mumbling slightly

"Yes sir."

"Then I want you to fully clean this house." He's still mumbling and sluring his words

"Yes sir."

I walk upstairs as he walks back into the kitchen

I vacuum, sweep, dust, mop, the whole house, making sure everything is where it belongs.

I go into my room and shut the door before I work on homework.

He opens my door, furious, shit. What did I do?

"I told you to clean this whole fucking house correct?"

"Yes sir. I did sir."

"Bullshit!" He screams, I put up my hands to guard my face.

"You forgot the bathroom. Put down your arms you fucking pussy."

He's right, I did, the door was closed so I forgot to clean it.

"Sorry sir, Ill do that now sir-" he grabs my arm as I try to pass him

"You won't do shit."

He throws me on the floor. He punched me a few times in the chest and kicked me around before-

I gasp as I woke up, I sigh and put my head in my hands

I look at the time on the oven, fuck.

It's 10 am, I know they're all probably still asleep, all of them have school.

Fuck it they can skip I don't even care.

As I take a sip of my coffee, taking note how cold it is, I hear someone walking down the steps.

I can tell by how the steps sound it's tommy.

"Shit! Oh. Sorry you scared me I didn't know anyone was up." He says

"It's fine, I woke up late and decided you guys could just skip, technos in ISS anyways."

"Oh. Thanks dad."

"Yeah, there's eggos in the freezer if you want some, I think I already put the butter and syrup out before I fell back asleep."

He hums yes and goes to get some

I put my head back in my hands, still thinking about that fucking nightmare.

"What's wrong?" Tommy asks

"Oh. Nothing I just had a nightmare, don't worry about it."

"What was it about?"

"Something I'm over now, don't worry tommy."

"If you were over it you wouldn't have a nightmare about it."

"Tommy I'm fine."

"Okay" he pulls out the o and the a(oookayyyy)

He sits down and starts to eat

There's an awkward silence.

"Sooo when did you originally get up?" He asks

"Around four, fell back asleep at 4:30 4:40 ish"I start, "why did you get up so early, I normally have to wake you up"

"Haven't slept well lately. Keep having nightmares."

"Shit are you okay?"

"Yeah"

"What are the nightmares about?"

"Nothing that's actually happening, I know you think it's about my dad but it's not, its just about something I'm afraid of happening."

"You can tell me about it whenever you want okay?"

"I know."

He goes back to eating

Tommy POV:

I got Phil to shut up about it, but fuck man. I can't forget that scene.

Basically the dream was, I come home from school and techno goes up to his room quickly, I don't think much about it and I go into my own room.

About an hour later we get called down for dinner, techno doesn't come.

Dad asks me to go check on him and I open the door, and he's dead on the floor with cuts across his wrist, 2 empty bottles of his medication by him, and a pile of throw up around him.

That's when I woke up. Basically I just had a nightmare about my brother killing himself. I know it won't happen, but it still terrifies me, you know?

I finish breakfast and rinse off my plate and leave it in the sink, I then excuse myself upstairs.

I sit on my bed and open my phone, there's messages in our group chat and dms straight to me from tubbo and ranboo.

all of them are simple 'where are you''s, and 'you said you were coming today?'

I close my phone with a sigh before going to the bathroom.

I quickly notice Wilbur's toothbrush and the toothpaste were both left out, he always seems so tedious about that shit, also when I went to bed that wasn't there, it looks like he was in a hurry.

I'll ask him about it later.

Words:1053