Don't Speak (SBI Angst)

54

Techno POV:
(SA mention warning)

"Rans here's too??? What the fuck happened techno?" Dad looks at me

I lead him to my room so Wilbur doesn't hear us talking about him

"So basically, long story short, Tommy was on call with ranboo, when ranboo said he saw Wilbur go Into schlatts room. Tommy obviously came to me and told me to go get Wilbur and also to grab ranboo in the process because schlatt would beat the shit out of him when he found out he switched. But there is one bright side..."

"What could even be good about this techno? He became friends with schlatt and started smoking!"

"He's starting to talk more."

"Are you sure he wasn't just high techno?"

"Maybe, but he's been talking so much lately."

"He's said 1 thing techno, my name when he felt like he was gonna die."

"And he Said no! Earlier when I had to pick him up to get him out of there he told me no. Which of course just made me feel like more of a peice of shit, but still."

"Tech... I know you want him to speak more but come on. He only talks when he's gonna die, or when he's high. He's getting better with it, yes. But you shouldn't rush it on him, okay? Him not using the fuckin notebook isn't a clear sign of him being better either, it honestly could be him getting worse."

"I just feel like-" nevermind.

"Like what?"

"Nothing."

"Techno please."

"I just feel like we were all getting better, then we all got set back because there was a new person in our lives, our house."

"Techno, we knew this was gonna be hard. We talked about it for months, and we looked at wilburs files and stuff for months, because he was the kid we said we'd like to add to our family. I know it's been hard, and im so sorry, but we can't take him back. That's fucking shitty."

"I wasn't saying we do that, i just... I don't know. I'm worried about him, not to mention Tommy."

"Is something wrong with tommy?"

"I- no. He just keeps going on about how he wants to 'fix' Me, he never used to do that before."

"Have you ever tried to listen to him without just telling him he 'cant'?"

"I mean not exactly but-"

"Go listen to him techno, ill take ranboo to tubbos house and tell him Tommy will be there soon and that you two need to talk for a moment.  Just talk to him. Please."

Why would I tell him he can fix me? I don't want to lie to him.

"Okay."

I follow Phil downstairs to tell Tommy

Phil and ranboo eventually head to tubbos, and Tommy follows me upstairs

"What's this for??? I really don't care about much you have to say right now. I wanna be with ranboo and tubbo right now. And thank you, for getting him, but im still mad at you."

"Dad wanted me to finally hear you out on the whole fix me thing."

"Oh my God that?? I really don't care right now can you fuck off."

"Hey- need I remind you who bandaged your fucking arm a few nights ago?"

"What the fuck does this have to do with that?? Fuck you asshole. Let's not mention all your broken promises."

"Oh come on. You're pathetic Tommy. You can't get over a simple fuck up, and you end up slitting your wrists over it."

"Oh you fucking hypocrite! Roll up your fucking sleeves mr. I can't finish a single fucking meal without leaning over a toilet!"

Okay what the fuck.

"Shut the fuck up! I have reasons for this shit- oh no your dad killed himself when you were like 5- your almost 14 get the fuck over it."

Why are we even fighting again? I don't even care.

Tommy doesn't respond, but I watch tears go into his eyes.

Then he punches me.

"Fuck- you bitch!"

I don't want to hit him back, I could seriously hurt him. I simple just shove him away from me.

He just keeps coming back and hitting me in the same place, and I watch him start to bawl, still hitting me, it just kinda stings, it'll definitely bruise later, but whatever, I can tell he's been wanting to hit me for awhile. Now I just feel bad.

"Why am i-" he mumbles the last bit

"Toms?"

He just latches onto me instead of hitting me more, kinda like a fucked up hug. And he just falls to his knees, dragging me with him

"Toms? What'd you say?"

"Why am I so weak techno?"

He looks up at me with a heart shattering glare.

"You're not weak toms."

"You basically  said it yourself. My dad killed himself years ago and I can't get over it, I cut myself over nothing, and just look at me. I'm bawling Into the arms of someone I purposely am trying to hate. You know,  I really do hate you alot techno. And I hate myself for it, because I still love you. Because no matter how much I hate you, I still see you as my brother, and I know you're not my brother."

"I just said that as a heat of the moment thing Tommy. You probably won't ever get over your dad doing that. I'm so sorry. I don't mean to ever say shit like that to you, but my mouth moves before my brain."

"It's not fair."

"I know it's not but-"

"No. Not my dad, but you. It's not fair that almost everyone everywhere knows my dad killed himself in front of me, but not even Phil knows the whole story of what the fuck happened to you."

"I can't tell you. No one I've ever told has believed me."

"Why didn't they believe you?"

"Because I was a-" because I was a boy, and she was a girl. Why would she lie.

"Because I was a kid and my foster parent at the time was an adult."

"So what? If you were beat or something, everyone in this house has been beat by a foster parent, or just  a parent in general, why wouldn't we believe you?"

"Because I wasn't beat tommy."

He's right, it's not fair not to say something. I guess i need to get it off of my chest anyways

"I wasn't beat, I was‐"i feel my breath get heavier,  I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.

"You don't have to tell me if you're not ready."
He starts to get up, wiping his tears.

"I was molested."

He looks up at me

"What?"

"That's what happened that people didn't believe me on. I was molested by my foster mom. They didn't believe me because i was a boy and she was a girl."

He doesn't say anything, he just comes up to me and hugs me, he doesn't do anything or say anything, but he hugs me. And I can't help but let a few silent tears escape me, fuck this, I hate crying in front of him, in front of anyone.

"Let it out techno, I'm so sorry, it's okay."

Maybe I can cry with him just this once.

Words:1222