Don't Speak (SBI Angst)

37

Techno POV:

Tommy left my room like... 3...5 hours ago??? I don't even know when he was in here to be honest. All I know is it's like 12 am, and I'm bored as shit.

I think I'll go to the park, it's like a ten minute walk and I probably need the air.

I open my window and start climbing down, I've already finished the water bottle so I bring the actual alcohol bottle with me.

Just as I come around the corner and am about to head for the park, I hear a rustle over on the other side of the house before Wilbur starts walking, phone in hand, typing, with a big ass smile pasted on his face, even though he looks...wary?

"Hey" I whisper shout, hearing the slur in my voice I remember I have a bottle of vodka in my hands.

He whips around and gets a guilty look immediately

He walks over while writing

What are you doing out here so late?

"It's very obvious we were both sneaking out, I was just going to the park though, who were you texting?"

I was just going to that field that tommy showed me, it's nice there. I was gonna write music.

"You have only your phone and your speaking notebook, you don't have your music notebook, just tell me who you were going to man." God my voice is slurred, I would probably have dragged him in and interrogated him more thoroughly by now if I was sober but who gives a fuck, I guess I am a dick sober to be honest.

I was going to the field. If I'm the one lying, care to explain why your going to "just the park" with a half full bottle of vodka and why you sound like a freshman college student who went to his first party right now?

Well shit.

"Fine, I was just going to the park for fresh air, it's no fucking secret I've been drinking all night, I had a shitty day let me be."

Sorry man, but if you'll interrogate me I'm gonna do it back

"Fair."I turn to him

"But really, I won't snitch on you since you have dirt on me, who were you gonna see? Already got a girlfriend here?" I nudge him playfully

God id feel so awkward if I was sober right now.

You really are more laid back drunk.

"Don't avoid the question"

I don't have a girlfriend.

"Sureee, wanna just come to the park with me if you were," I throw up air quotes,"just going to the field?"

Sure

We head to the park, me taking swigs of the vodka the whole time, even when we get there.

Wilbur put up his book to tell me to stop for the night like three times but I would just pause for like 20 minutes then go right back to it.

Sooo... Why was your day so shitty that we're stuck sitting on a bench as you down vodka like it's water?

"Nothing much, just another fucking fight with dad, weve fought more lately"

About what?

I sigh, not knowing if he'll get upset we fought over him or not.

"Because I know you throw up every meal, he does to, I know you self harm-" he visibly tenses at that, "he... Probably...? Does to, that's the same shit I did Wilbur, and he swears on his life he doesn't want what happened to me to happen to you, but you're like looking in a mirror, and it pisses me off that he does nothing about it."

Im the one refusing help

"Yeah, that also pisses me off. I know it's not your fault, but I feel like I need you to want help. If you don't get it... Then... I'll just watch someone repeat what I did, I can't see that from 3rd person man."

Im sorry I keep refusing I just don't want to be better right now, I can't.

I sigh, and I'm about to talk-

And I throw up.

That whole bottle just bit me in the ass the second I start actually talking

"Damn it-"

I start puking again- fuck- wait.

Wilburs pulling back my hair.

Wilbur, who should hate me, is pulling back my hair as I puke my fucking guts out.

I stop, wipe my mouth, he drops my hair back down, and I look at him in disbelief as he gives me a pity smile and puts up his fucking book

Feel better now?

"Why don't you hate me?"

I see the shock on his face

"All I do is tell you to get your shit together, all I do is try to bully the fucking mental illness out of you, all I do is tell you that you look like I did when I was a total mess, why don't you hate me?"

Because I know your trying to help.

"I would know someone was trying to help and still hate them if they did this shit to me."

Well, maybe I don't like you cus you do that shit, but I know your in pain watching me act like this, so I can't hate you, I think we could actually be real friends.

"God you will hate me when you get to know me man."

Now why's that?

"I'm a dick, I got involved with the wrong people and became an addict by 14, I just relapsed after a year of being sober from alcohol and don't even care, I can't wear short sleeves because if Phil sees shit he thinks he could of stopped he always gets this one look, it's like... I don't know, just sad. Sad as hell, I hate it, like the look he gave tommy when he woke up in the hospital? Not exactly like that though."

Doesn't sound like your a dick. It sounds like you got pushed over the edge to early.

"I guess. What time is it?"

He shows me his lock screen, ITS 3:40 AM?

"FUCK PHIL WAKES UP AT LIKE 4 SOMETIMES WE GOTTA GO"

I see the panic in his face as we get up and start running

We wave bye as we go to our sides of the house and start climbing our ladders, I change into my pajamas quickly and slide into bed, just as I hear Phil get up.

That was way to fucking close.

Was it? I liked the risk

Fuck. They shouldn't show up for another hour.

Probably the alcohol, you know, you should drink more.

Fuck off I wanna go to sleep.

You know if you go to sleep I'll come back full force in the morning, that'll go well with your hangover won't it?

Don't care.

I force them away for long enough to fall asleep, not thinking about what'll happen in the morning.

Words:1154