Don't Speak (SBI Angst)

62. it was never meant to be

This will be the end of Dont Speak. I would love to continue it, but given the current circumstances I will not be doing that. For those who are unaware, it has gotten out that wilbur abused (mentally and physically) his now ex-girlfriend, Shelby, aka shubble on all platforms. She came out about this and alot of people speculated it was him, even though she didn't name anyone. Today, 2/27/24, he posted an "apology" (the cover photo of this chapter) as you can probably tell, none of this Is really an apology, it's more of a "I made an oopsie but im going to therapy and im better I swear" even if he has apologized to shubble in private, I feel he should have done it again within this apology. Or atleast say that he's apologized. I am open to forgiving him in the future, but for now, this man who once has been a role model and who I've looked up to for years, he's genuinely made a large impact in my life and I don't know how I'm going to fill that hole he's created, ycgma yswr, msr, have all made huge impacts on me, even if listening back on them you can literally tell its about the whole situation. But still, no one has ever made something like that, that shits hard, but I cannot support him.

Techno POV:

"Damnit phil-" I start, then tommy throws up.

"Shit-" I go over to him

"Tommy I'm sorry I forgot-"

"Shut up phil." I glare at him

I look back to tommy

"Come on, let's go to your room, Phil will pick this up."

"I can pick-"

"No, Phil can do it, Come on."

"I can't go to my room. Ranboos in there." He mutters

"Then let's go to my room." I glare at phil as I bring tommy up the stairs and to my room

Wilbur POV:

I hear people talking downstairs, I couldn't care less.

My day was absolutely shit, karl saw my fucking arm and tried to get me to talk to him, I can't get high or do anything that makes me feel better right now because I can't speak to jschlatt.

I hear technos door shut, and the people downstairs leave from the front door.

I dont want to be here right now, actually no, i CANT be here.

I go downstairs and into the kitchen for the medicine cabinet,  forgetting about that fucking lock.

I look through the junk drawer, finding a Bobby pin.

I jam the Bobby pin in and force the lock open

"Got it" I whisper under my breath, surprising myself

Right when I'm about to start talking really is when I'm going to kill myself,  isn't it?

Knowing how unlucky I am I probably won't even die.

I grab 3 bottles of medication, not knowing or caring what they are.

I go up to my room and lock my door, hitting my playlist on shuffle, gnaw by alex g begins to play.

I look at the bottles, 2 are schizophrenia medication and ones adhd meds. Of course I just so happened to take these ones. It'll be shitty for techno and Tommy not to have them anymore.... but they'll get it back eventually.

I start downing pills dry, 2 at a time, ignoring how dry my mouth is becoming.

I feel tears start to place themselves into my eyes, but I don't care.

As I finish the first bottle, still crying, things that were bad that happened to me flash in-between my vision

'~Dry your eyes~'