Ascension - Book Eight - Man x Man

Chapter 13

I drift in and out of sleep, the musty smell of the hotel room continuing to startle me into waking much before my mind was ready to be conscious. I wished I'd never agreed to do this, though I couldn't find it in me to fault my ambition. I'd never been one to shy away willingly from helping my people, the opportunity posed by a trusted family member was not my wrongdoing, it was a dirty trick that I shouldn't blame myself for. 

Swallowing that was more difficult than I'd thought it'd be. It is not my fault that I trusted someone that I love. 

The sentiment plays on a loop in my mind, the wolf prods me from within and I blink myself awake to see the bright light of Helen's phone on the nightstand. With mine gone, there were few options to reach out. Helen laid with her back to me, the quiet rise and fall of her chest indicated that she was sleeping. Sliding to the edge of the bed as soundlessly as I could, I rub my eye with the back of my hand and squint in the dark to see that she had missed two calls from Verando. 

Anxiously, I undo the power cord and gather the phone in my hand, stepping outside the room to tread lightly down the hallway and sit on the stairs leading to the second story. I spot the time, dangerously close to midnight, it feels foolish to risk the wrath of Echo on a call.

 What could I say?

 I couldn't warn him and risk him coming, leaving our children vulnerable. While I doubted Echo would act on her threats, tempting her when she's already shown her willingness was perhaps pushing her too far. My actions alone could be what spurred her on. 

Still, my thumb hovered over the redial, and without thinking I press it and hold it up to my ear, resting my elbows on my knees and kneeing my thumbnail as I impatiently drum my foot. When I'm about to give up, finally the other line opens and I hear the muffled shuffling, almost causing me to smirk as my hand slips from my mouth to clutch my hair in silent appreciation that he'd managed to get some sleep. 

"Someone better be dying." He grumbles groggily, accent heavy on his tired voice. I envision what he must look like, hair tangled and stubble trending dangerously close to a beard. 

"No. Just my phone..." I explain away, keeping my voice soft as if I might wake him further. "I'm sorry, do you want me to let you go back to sleep?"

With a heavy yawn, the bed sheets rustle and I picture him trying to find a position that allows him to be awake. I'm glad that I called, I didn't need to reveal my predicament, I had just needed to know he was alright. "No no, I was worried about you, I just figured you were terrorizing a bunny somewhere." 

His hushed voice almost triggers a pang of uncertainty, a flash of jealousy, where it used to frighten me I find it reassuring now. I did love him, I loved him enough to imagine lovers for a man who much preferred to be on his own. "Are you trying not to wake up your lover?" 

"One, not funny. Two, it's nearing on midnight, darling, and some of us sleep at that hour. Three, I have two boys in my bed and I'm very well gridlocked, at the moment." 

My hand covers my mouth, sealing my emotions with it as I silently kick myself for ever leaving. "You let them sleep with you?" I ask gently, whispering along with him. 

"Let? No. Accepted my fate? Assuredly. I think they feel out of sorts with you gone."

They missed me, my outbursts, my absent behavior, it hadn't warranted me as unloveable.

Giggling at his tone, I press the video button. "Let me see." I prompt him quickly, snickering once more at the tone of his eye roll in his heavy sigh. The screen goes black for only a moment before I see his unamused expression at the dim light reflecting from the video. "Ah, you look tired. I shouldn't be keeping you."