Ascension - Book Eight - Man x Man

Chapter 127

We sit in painful silence as I wait for him to respond, to say anything to the reality that I was now carrying a child. From the beginning the thought had disturbed him, it had seemed. The reality of a man bearing a child was hard for anyone to fathom, it brought questions, concerns, and a sense of mystery. Adriam had been thrilled, it was something he had always wanted and to see me succeed in this way appeared to bring him a great amount of joy. Every day, my phone was cluttered with texts and missed calls from him. 

It wasn't the way I'd hoped to befriend Adriam, but I'd take the support given that he was helping to watch our children. 

"My body doesn't make the right hormones, so they're putting me on pills to help me.. but I've actually been a little nauseous since the fight with David. I guess using has taken it out of me. There was a small bleed but it seems to have stopped." I ramble on, rolling the ring on his finger to distract myself as I fight to not meet his gaze. I couldn't stand to see his disappointment, I couldn't risk his wrath if he were to decide he didn't want this. 

I was doing this, with or without him, and I wasn't ready to face the reality that it might be the latter. 

When I finally steal a glance, I see that he's not looking at me, merely watching the ceiling with a look that I can't place. Wishing he wasn't here, possibly wishing that I could just be different and not put us through these sorts of things, whatever it was it consumed him as he shuts his eyes with a deal of tension in his jaw. 

"Please talk to me," I whisper,  squeezing his hand. 

"I'm recalling telling you that you weren't allowed to be pregnant when I had my blunder with Marisol. It's an odd memory... uncomfortable, but relevant. Darling, I'm trying to keep you from looking at me like that, this stopped being about me and what I want when you decided you were keeping it. I'm worried, terrified, really... but I can't be without you and it would appear you come as a package for the time being. You're my husband, not my submissive, not my servant, not my underling... if this is what you want, I'm going to have to be okay with it."

I take in every word as his eyes finally meet mine, his voice rough from lack of use over the past few days. With a shakey inhale, I force a sob-like laugh and shake my head at myself. "Sorry, I'm just emotional. I was so afraid you'd just leave-"

Cursing under his breath, Verando threads his fingers with mine, lifting my hand to his lips to kiss the back of my knuckles. "You're valid in thinking that, I've not indicated much different, but I do love you. It takes two to create this predicament and there's not much we can do for it now. It wasn't a side effect I anticipated from turning you into a lycan but I wouldn't change it, it saved your life." It appeared as though he was reasoning with himself as much as he was with me. 

With a flinch, he removes his hand from mine to put pressure on his side, guarding a grimace. I'd hardly known the man to show pain, my hands instinctively move to touch him but I wasn't sure where exactly I could place them to keep from hurting him worse. "Did you have to tell them I was an addict?" he grumbles through a cough. 

"Do you want me to ask them for something for the pain?" 

After a long moment, he shakes his head. "Nah, I suppose not. What's more hardware, more scars?"

Ron enters the room with a sigh of relief, "Your heart rate jumped, I warned them you both are prone to spontaneous intimacy but I'm thrilled to see you've both been beaten to a point of sense." Approaching the other side of the bed, gives Verando a rough pat on the shoulder, making the man cringe which seemed to be the goal. "Hurt? Good. Idiot. What the hell were you doing?"

"Wondering where you got all this bloody audacity from? I get beat to hell and suddenly you become cocky?" Verando retorts, shuffling as if he wanted to sit up only to cry out and clutch his side. One of the nurses rushes in, sighing heavily at us both.