Ascension - Book Eight - Man x Man

Chapter 2 (new)

In the following days, my behavior had improved enough that Verando could no longer reason with the rest of the circle that I was only 'sick'. Slowly, people who knew me were beginning to discover that I had become a lycan. From the inner workings of our group to Lotta and a few select individuals, knowledge spread. People seemed to disagree that I was dangerous. 

On the outside, when I was in complete control, I appeared like a more fit version of my prior self. 

On the inside, I was a wreck. My body hurt, each new scent sent me into a warzone of evaluations and my wolf scratched at the surface to learn every scrap of detail about every individual we passed. Verando was entirely unwilling to let me out of his sight, for that I was grateful, and yet my leash never felt tighter.

I had not been able to touch him intimately since those first days, and it was beginning to wear on both of us. Much as I was struggling, Alpha seemed to be suffering just as much. He missed me, my husband missed me, and yet there was little I could do to mend the bond between us. I couldn't dare expose myself in such a way with the beast lurking, not that it would allow me to anyway. 

Verando was incredibly patient, but I often found him to be tighter than usual, less playful, and more abrupt.

Where we could be together was strained, the more outings I had, the more I lost control and teased the poor male. My scent, the way I pressed against him in my lapse of judgment, and even the provocative words that I spoke when my lust got the best of me. I was torturing him, and it did nothing to help my starved libido.

There were two of us involved in this mental warzone, and Alpha felt I wasn't playing fair. 

Despite Verando's protests, when the call came out from Lotta and Ron collectively, we were forced to answer. The world was in desperate need, I needed to make a statement and there was no more time to stand back in the shadows.

Short and sweet, a trial run, we'd managed to score an interview with a reporter that Tiberius knew personally. It would be easy, simple, a few questions and then I could go back home.

The thought makes me pinch the bridge of my nose as we exit the car and head for the broadcasting station. I wanted this so badly, yet I was dreading it. The wolf whimpers in the back of my mind, reminding me of how unprepared I felt. With the pressure mounting, it had become increasingly obvious that I had little choice.

We'd been bombarded with questions as greenery had slowly begun to creep back into the vacant spaces of land, despite the cold of winter, the world had stopped spiraling and had begun to take raspy breaths as if we were finally pulling it out of hospice care. 

In all regions, the change in the air and even the taste of the water was trending towards a positive incline. It felt strange, and alien, to have zero sense of what was going on in the atmosphere. People mentioned it to me, congratulating our success, and I could only smile and nod my way through it.

My body was silent in the midst of the impending storm, disturbingly so,  there was little I could do to sense the next impact. I was at the mercy of whatever the earth decided, leaving me feeling lost in a place that always came naturally to me. When I wanted to feel, I couldn't, and when I wanted peace, I was ravaged by my internal hell. 

The dull hum of the TV monitors never ceases, it caused my ears to ache, all the way into my jaw. It was a constant thrumming from which there was no escape, having to grind my teeth to counteract the discomfort. Even with my implants in, I could still make out the static in the background.

Chewing on the knuckle of my index finger, I was forced to stand impatiently in the wings of the broadcast, thinking back over my notes on how I would possibly keep this all together. Something I'd done dozens, if not over a hundred times, now seemed like an impossible feat.