Ascension - Book Eight - Man x Man

Chapter 5

I had had every intention of crossing that short space and making an ass of myself. My path had been clear in my drunken stupor, I had thoroughly convinced myself that what I needed at this moment was something that I'd denied myself for six long months, yet, now that he was speaking with Landon my body felt as if it was frozen in place. 

Attempting to move my feet, it's as if I was locked by my very own ice. Something pressed at the edges of my subconscious, creating a searing ache that started deep in my chest and began to throb outwardly to my limbs. I wish to cry out, to leave the ice that held me here, but when I look down I can see that my own feet are all that keep me in place. 

The ice in my body feels too cold, it burns my insides and I fear I might even be boiling with the intensity of the heat. My lips part but nothing comes, nothing but an exhale of discomfort at my charred lungs desperate for air. This was punishment for rejoicing in the cold, the wraith had lied and the side effect was death. 

Moments tick by and Verando seems none the wiser as he speaks quietly with Landon about the contents of the phone. They switch back and forth from English to French, relaying the info in a way that was much too passive for my intentions. I was a nuisance, that's why he hadn't looked up at me. He was surely upset with my antics, after all, I'd gotten quite intoxicated to achieve my mission. 

My thoughts halt and I frown at myself, scorching alive and frozen in place only to down myself. Who did I think I was? I had nothing to apologize for, I was trying to figure out my place in this world, all be it, not with the most tact but my life had been completely uprooted. Was I not entitled to a bit of spiraling when denied my life's purpose? 

"You promised."

The voice sounds familiar. I check to see if Verando is still ignoring me, a surge of fresh agony almost causes me to double over but my body remains rigid. My bones crack in my ears, threatening to splinter from the intensity of the pushback. "Look closer." The voice hisses. "You don't even know my name."

Sweeping the room as I swallow back the numbing sensation of icy chill rushing through my veins, the drug fights back against the intruder. I can see no one other than myself in the reflection of the massive windows overlooking the event center. The blinds conceal no form, it's only him and I in this room. "You've ignored me long enough."

I drop to my knees and hold back the scream as my body twists. Surely not, it couldn't be-

"I. Am." The voice snarls. 

"You've got horrible timing." I spit through my teeth, climbing to my hands and knees as I catch the smooth motion of Verando standing. "I'm fine." I snap at him, "Get this done." I didn't need him close to me, not now, not when this creature was on the edge of escaping my grasp. Inwardly, I shove the beast down until the molten metal feeling in the edges of nerves began to simmer into a dull ache. 

I was not about to surrender to a volatile being. I was not about to give in, no matter the level of intoxication, to the temptation of an animal. I had just earned my freedom, I wouldn't lose it because the wolf was having a tantrum. The thought elicits a whole new wave of punishment and I grit my teeth to the point where I fear they might turn to grit. 

"I am not an animal!" The voice howls, singing in my ears at a deafening volume. "I am you, you pathetic excuse of a king! I am the best parts of you and you've locked me away for this petty excuse of a vessel!"

The audible crack of my collar bone springs a tear to my eye, I clutch my shoulder and force the bit back into place. Pain was something I was quite good at, there was little pain that could motivate me beyond my own will. My body feels as though it were held together with glue and string, unhinged as the wolf fights for any avenue to break through my fragile hold. "It's not your life," I mutter, almost inaudible.