In the middle

Chapter 40

Today was Mum's funeral. Milly and her husband were over. Helping me with some final things.
I was wearing a slim black dress and a pair of mums heels. I wanted her close by me today. Just like with Hannah, Hannah who should have never died.

Tomorrow I would see the judge for the emancipation. Everything was happening so quickly, and today I was going to the bank. Mum hadn't exactly put me down to keep the house, not that I wanted it anyway.
Julian was driving us to the funeral, Hannah's parents in the back seat. Just like me, they had decided to move. We pulled up first but Taylor was already here.

'Hey.' She embraced me. Her hug was warm and tight. I held back tears, no matter what I wasn't crying today. I couldn't, I didn't want to cry anymore.

The funeral began, the priest talking first. I wasn't listening, not to anything. I just kept staring at Mum's casket. I didn't want to look anywhere else. Her favorite flowers were placed on top.

'And now we'll have Miss. Zoie speak.' I heard my name and looked away. People were looking at me.
I stood up and walked to the front. So many people stared back at me, all of Mum's co-workers. Her friends, my family. My aunty who wasn't really paying attention. She was my mum's Aunty.

'I just want to say thanks, to everyone who came today. Mum would really appreciate it. I'm not really sure what to say. If you really knew my mum you'd know she always knew what to say. She would give you some speech about how nothing lasts forever and how it's all going to be okay. You'd believe her cause she sounded so convincing, even if you knew it wasn't true.'

I looked over to Mum's casket again. She was in there, lifeless. Dead.

'She loved to travel. She wanted to see the whole world, she loved meeting new people. Forty-seven. That's how old she is....was.' I corrected myself. A tear fell down and I didn't even care anymore.

'I'm sorry mum, I am so sorry. I love you so much and if I could take all of this away, I would. I just wish you were here right now. I wish you could give me some sappy advice like always or just hug me, she was the best at giving hugs.' I wiped the tears away.

'You deserved better. She used to tell me so many stories when I grew up, about the world and about her. She was so happy, so sweet. She didn't deserve this. It's not fair. It's not fair. I'm so sorry mummy, I'm so sorry. I love so so much, I am so sorry.' I couldn't say anymore.

I sat back down and wiped my eyes. Julian held me, his arms wrapped around my shoulders.

I said my goodbyes and thank you's to everyone as they exited. I met some pilots mum was close with.
She touched so many people and this is all she got. Less than a hundred people were here. It sucked, she deserved more.

After everyone was gone I didn't want to look at the casket any more. I didn't want the constant reminder that I was never going to see her again. But the casket got lowered and I watched it go down, down into a dark hole.

That was where she'd spend the rest of eternity. In a hole, her body would dissolve and insects would feast. That was all that was going to be of her.

I turned and headed towards the car, my eyes glanced around. There, just across the road, I saw something.
Him.
It made me so angry I wanted to scream.
'Da'Von had been watching the ceremony. Julian was already waiting in the car. I couldn't even imagine what he'd do if he saw him here.

I looked away and just walked off. I didn't want to talk to him. I knew he said he'd keep an eye on me but today wasn't the day.

I was still in my funeral clothes when I walked into the bank. I just wanted everything done today. I didn't want to wait for anything anymore.