In the middle

Chapter 28

My hands shook as I poured coffee into mugs. I pushed one slowly across the kitchen counter.

Tears had come and fallen across my face, all the energy had been drained out of me.
This man, he was sitting before me. His hair short, his soul evil.
'The place looks really nice.' He finally spoke.

'Yeah, thanks.' I replied. I wasn't exactly sure what to say.
'Where is your mother?' He asked.
'Working, she is a flight attendant.'
'So you're here alone? All the time?' I squinted at him.

'Don't come in here and pretend to be the good parent. You...you! YOU know what you did.' I couldn't even bring myself to say it.
He bowed his head and sighed.

'When did they let you out?' I couldn't even look at him. I was using every bit of strength I had not to choke him to death.

'Last week.' He said. My eyes darted at him. 'You've been out an entire week?!' I threw the words at him like daggers.

'I wanted to come but I didn't think you'd want to see me. Clearly I was right.'
'So why did you come? Hey? Why?' He took a deep breath and finished the rest of his coffee.
'I had to see my daughter, you were only a little kid when I went away.'

'Went away? You mean you got locked up. You got locked up because you killed my brother, no....you murdered him! Harry is dead because of you.' I yelled.
I hated this man, I hated him so very much. I wish he had died in prison.

'I know okay! I know, I spent ten years in prison. I went through a lot of realisation. He was my son, my kid! I know exactly what I did. I am a changed man now Zoie. Wether you believe me or not is up to you.' He spoke.

We shared silence for a moment. 'Where are you staying?' I asked. I wanna know where I have to avoid.
'Well actually...'
Here we go. I knew it! I knew there was another purpose to him being here.
I rolled my eyes and made sure he caught that.

'I have no where to go Zo. I can't get into anywhere because these days you need credit card. I can't get one of those cause I don't have a job. And I can't get a job...'
'Cause you were in prison ten years for murdering my brother? Yeah I get it.' I interrupt.

I felt my throat tighten, I couldn't breath. Tears endlessly fell at my eyes.

'You know what? Fine, stay here. But I want you to sleep on the couch.' I say. He nodded. 'I understand.'
'Good, but I won't be here.' He looked at me confused.
'I don't wanna be in the same house as you. I don't wanna be under the roof. I don't wanna breath the same air that you are now allowed to breath. You don't deserve it.' I spat.

'Zoie..?!' I raised my hand. I didn't want to hear it.
'I understand.' He spoke.
'Where are you going to stay? Are you still friends with Hannah?' The question bit at my insides.
More years streamed down my face.
'Hannah died, she died with her siblings. They got shot, drive by.' I spoke. He looked glum. God, I wanted him to feel any pain he could.

'I'm gonna sleep at my boyfriends.' I shared, not that he had a right to care.
'What?!' He asked. 'You have a boyfriend?' I nodded.
'Yeah, he is twenty.' I knew it would anger him but I wanted it. I wanted to rub everything in his face.
He bit his bottom lip.
'Does your mother know?!' I nodded.
'She really likes him.' I replied.

More silence.

'Well I would love to meet him.' He spoke. I rolled my eyes.
'I don't really give a shit about what you want.' I was so angry. I hadn't looked at him the entire time.
'Does he treat you well.'

'That's none of your business.' He breathed in really loudly and relaxed. I could see it, just beneath the surface. He was the same man I knew as a kid.
'He's good to me.' I answered. Not that I needed his approval.

'You can stay here but some things are gonna happen. You're gonna find a job, a honest job. So you can pay for things like a hotel room. While you are living here you cannot smoke or drink, at all. Do I make myself clear?' He nodded.
'Also no parties or girls, or guys. Whatever! Clear?' He nodded again.
'I'm better now Zoie, I've changed. I'm gonna prove it to you. I promise.' I wiped more years away.

'Whatever.' I mentioned. I dumped my spare key on the counter and walked into my room. The door clicked shut, I clutched my throat. I couldn't breath, air was escaping my lungs. I covered my hand with my mouth.
I didn't want him to hear me scream, I didn't want him to hear me cry. He was the one that deserved the pain. Not me.
He deserved all the pain in the world.

I had packed my bag and drove out of the driveway.
I still couldn't believe I had left that man, that monster in my house.
I just couldn't be there. Not with him, I liked it better when he was in prison.
He should have gotten a life sentence, fuck this off with good behaviour shit.
I was driving around endlessly. I hadn't actually told Julian my dad was back, in all fairness I didn't really want to stay at his house. His brothers hated me, I was just so sick of people.

I had parked my car in the lot of the beach. Kids were running around playing in the sand, people chasing the waves with their surfboards. How easy their life seemed. How? How could someone's life be that gentle and kind? I envied it, I envied that I would never know what that feels like.
My phone buzzed and I looked down. A message from Julian.
"Hey, wanna hang at yours? Taylor is pissing everyone off. Some girl teenage bullshit I can't handle."

I didn't want Julian to know right now where I was. I didn't want to talk about it, I didn't want to think about it.

"Can't, heading to work to pick up a shift sorry. Maybe later." I sent back. I hated lying to him but I just couldn't see him. Not right now.
It'd be too much and I was sick of people right now.