In the middle

Chapter 12

Last night was great, after he had held me and it was nice. It randomly made me miss my mum but I didn't tell him that.
We had gone back to his a few hours later.
Hannah had asked me a million questions but I slightly brushed them off. I said we had gone to watch a movie and just hung out. I just didn't want to tell them yet! Taylor was Julians sister, it would be so awkward.

It was 9:30 am and apparently people would be arriving at 10. I had helped set up outside, tables and chairs and nice cloths. It all felt so fancy but in the same way simple. The boys were outside messing around. Julian was in the kitchen with Veronica.
Just her name made me want to roll my eyes.

'Hey can you take this into the kitchen.' Taylor asked. I took a bowl and walked through the house.
'Oh hahaha! Julie I forgot how funny you were.' Veronica said.
Ew. 'Yeah my Julie is hilarious.' When Veronica saw me she pursed her lips again. 'You're adorable Zarley!' Veronica said. 'It's actually Zoie, not that hard.'
'Uh-Huh.' She replied. I'm sure I'll get it one of these days.'
'It's all good Vanessa.'
'It's Veronica.'
'Oh, I'm so sorry!' I smiled. I walked over to Julian and handed him the bowel. He grabbed my hand and kissed it. Rubbing the back of it. I could see Veronica in the corner of my eye staring and it warmed me up.

I was sitting with Julian. Hannah was chatting up one of his cousins and Taylor was beside me. I wasn't listening to Julian talk with his mates.
'Dude I'm starving wanna get food?' Taylor asked. 'Yeah sure, Julian you want anything?'
'Yeah sure, whatever's good.' He Smiled. I followed Taylor up and over to the table. It was now 12:40pm.
Everyone had said grace before eating but most people stayed back to talk. 'I'll be back! Need to pee.' Taylor said running back inside.
I wasn't left alone for two minutes before Veronica approached.

'Hey! Look I must admit. We got off on the wrong foot!' She said. Not shit! I thought.
'It's not that I don't like you, I'm just looking out for Julian. I mean after what happened a few summers ago I thought he'd be messed up for sure but I can see he really is happy again.'
The Curiosity killed the cat saying was true. By nature I had to ask.
'What happened?'
'He didn't tell you?' Suddenly this felt like a major set up.
'Julian and I fell pregnant, we lost the baby and then after that we just stopped seeing each other.' My heart fell.

It felt like someone had knocked the wind out of me with a baseball bat. I could feel my face lose colour.

'I guess on the bright side it was better. He wasn't ready to be a dad and I don't think bringing a kid into this world would be fair. I mean Ezekiel runs the Ramos crime family, guess that was obvious since it's their last names. Owns half the city, that kid is bound to get into trouble. Plus how would I explain to a kid that it's father has killed people you know?!'
There it went again. I felt like I was being beaten the crap out of.
'Wait! He didn't tell you that either? Practically everyone here is apart of a crime family, that's weird. I guess I understand why, trying to protect you from it all.' Veronica finished.

I felt faint and sick and I wanted to cry. I had to leave this place, I just couldn't be here right now.
I looked over at Julian. He was smiling and laughing, he caught my eyes and smiled but I didn't return it. My chest was sore and I couldn't seem to catch a breath. He seemed to sense my panic.
'Hey! Are you okay?' Taylor asked. She went to grab my hand but I pulled away. 'Don't touch me.' My voice was shaking.
'What happened? What did you say?!' She pointed to Veronica. 'Only the truth. I mean come one, she slept with your brother. She was bound to find out sooner or later.'
Veronica added. I could see Julian standing now looking right at us.

'You slept with him?'
'Is it true?'
'Is what true?'
'You don't have to ask, you know!' Taylor didn't respond. She was holding her breath for a moment. 'It's complicated Zoie, I was going to tell you.'
'What's going on? Hannah asked. 'Can you take me home?'
'Yeah sure.' Veronica had walked off to someone. Julian was starting to walk over but I didn't want him to catch up.

'Zoie!' Taylor called. I ignored her. I didn't want to face her or Julian or any of them, not ever again.

I had explained everything to Hannah, my one and only true friend. 'I can't believe Taylor kept that from us. I guess she was just looking out!'
Hannah mentioned. 'I don't see it that way. Julian lied to me.'
'Yeah!'
'I miss my mum.' Hannah patted my hair. We were laying on my bed which felt wrong. The space was different now, used! I couldn't stop crying.
'I'm so sorry babe!'
'It's okay, not your fault.'
'I think we need ice cream and Disney movies.' She kissed my head and went into the kitchen.

My phone started ringing for the hundredth time. It was either Julian or Taylor. I forced myself to look at the number.
I picked up the phone in a matter of seconds.
'MUM?!'
'Hey, god I've missed the sound of my baby. How've you been?' I held my breath. I didn't want to cry to my mum. It'd scare her. I had told her about "a boy."
'Honey!' She spoke. 'Something happened. Turns out he lied to me.' I cried.
'This boy? Awww baby, I'm coming home! My daughter needs me right now.'
'But you love your job!'
'I'm not quitting! Just coming home. I really miss you. Plus I need to hug my daughter.' Now mum was crying. Hannah was in the doorway with two bowls and spoons. She was giving me a sympathetic smile.