Be My Slave (Måneskin Fanfiction // Damiano Victoria Ethan Thomas)

number 38: confession

Imagine waking him up next to you... I did and I'm having a heart spasm. 

Also, don't get your hopes too much for this chapter, it'll be a short chapter mainly written in order to be a bridge between 39th chapter.

However, you can get pretty excited for 39th and 40th I must say. Prepare yourself for an emotional rollercoaster. I thought I should give you a fair warning beforehand.

Enjoy,

I opened my eyes slowly. It took me a couple of seconds to remember where I was, what had happened. Yesterday I had worked so hard, in order to keep myself awake, not to sleep. But with him, everything was so peaceful. I slowly turned my body to him, very slowly in order not to wake him up.

He was still sleeping. I looked at the bruise he had, right next to his lips. All I wanted to do was to give him a kiss, just next to his lips but I didn't. Instead, I looked at his eyes. His long eyelashes were creating shadows on his cheekbones. His eyelid stood still. Some of his hair was covering his face. I wanted to get his hair out of his face. But I didn't.

His nose piercing was shining because of the daylight coming through the curtains. I looked at his tattoo covered body. I used to kiss every single one of them when we were having sex. I knew how much he enjoyed it, and he always returned the favor by kissing the few tattoos I had. 

His hand was on his chest. I loved his hands. He carried that nail polish on so fucking great. His beard had just started to grow since he last shaved so it was barely visible. I knew it would make my hand itch if I touched his face, his defined jaws.

I felt like crying. I felt like crying because of this heavenly vision before me. He hadn't touched me in any way just like he promised. It was as if he knew how much deep I would fall, if I had felt his skin on mine.

It was funny, because I knew how much of a messy sleeper he was. Usually, when we fell asleep together we would wake up as if we were playing the twister game. All body parts intertwined.

I enjoyed the view for a couple more minutes before attempting to got up.

"June," I heard his sleepy voice. His eyes were still closed. "Can you fall asleep again? I want to watch you sleep."

Did he any idea how his words were making me feel? Did he any idea how much influence he had over me? Would he freak out, if he found out?

"D-damiano..." I called his name, not being able to say anything else.

"Please. Or just come back to bed and close your eyes. I can't look at your eyes anymore. I hate they way they look at me."

I had no idea what had he seen in my eyes. Did he see the excitement? The love?

"What do you see?" I said, still sitting on the bed, my back facing him and my front facing the window.

"I see fear, June. I hate it." he whispered. He had still sleepiness in his voice but he was more awake noticeably.

I wasn't afraid of him. I was not. I was afraid that I might've lost him. I was afraid that he could figure out my feelings. I was afraid that he could see love, instead of fear.

"It's not fear," I said. I felt my own pain through my own voice. I sounded, desperate. Pathetic.

"What is it then June? Tell me so we can work it out. Please." he sounded even more desperate than I did.

We used to understand each other even without words. I never had felt the need to keep any secrets from him. It was always so easy to communicate. I hated what I had done to us. I hated what I said next even more.

"It's love."

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EXTERNAL FREAKING OUT!

omw to write the next chapter lmao I can't wait