Be My Slave (Måneskin Fanfiction // Damiano Victoria Ethan Thomas)

number 49: apart

Hellooo and welcome back.

Enjoy,

*

I didn't know what to think anymore. I had spent the night thinking. Now it had been the morning but I still couldn't think properly.

Have I overreacted? Was I wrong?

If I was wrong, I would feel guilty right? I didn't feel guilty. I was hurt. I was hurt both because he had hurt me and I was hurt because I had hurt him too.

I knew relationships came with fights as well, it was natural but I had never thought our first fight would be about future. I was already worried about future and I needed his help about it, not his fettering.

It wasn't that I didn't want to go with them. I had went with them anywhere, I had chose him every time. But I knew this wasn't the first time and I knew it wasn't going to be the last. They always will have concerts, they always will have tours and I always will have to give up on my plans.

I had never seen this as a sacrifice. Even though I told him it like that, choosing him over anything was something I wanted. He was always what I wanted. I just needed him to be more sympathetic about it. I just needed to feel that he would support my decisions either way. I needed to feel his respect.

My thoughts got interrupted by Victoria's call. I answered the phone and heard her upset voice.

"So we both fucked up?" she said. Damiano must've mentioned that I hadn't take the tour thing in a good way

"Guess so..." I replied. She paused before talking and when she did she asked me to meet her at the cafe. I could use her suggestions and I surely could give her some as well so I agreed. Once we hung up I got up to get dressed.

I wore black leather skirt and a red bralette. I wanted to feel good about myself a little so I was extra with my outfit. I put my hair into a ponytail and I put on some eyeliner before I left my house.

I saw Vic had already arrived and she was drinking red wine. I got seated and ordered rose wine. She lit us both cigarettes and she started to speak as she was inhaling the smoke.

"I was wrong wasn't I?" she asked. It wasn't that she was wrong. She had some fair points but I could understand the way she acted it out was heartbreaking for Thomas and Ethan.

"You are not wrong. You are right in your own way but try to understand them too. They are excited about this and they were'n expecting you to be negative about it."

She shook her head slowly. "I don't know June," she breathed out. "I just don't want them to do something they'll regret. We are too young."

"You are right," I replied. "We are too young. This is exactly the time we should be doing mistakes."

She stayed silent. She looked like she was thinking about this, about everything. She put her cigarette to the ashtray.

"Have you made any mistake?" She asked me after a while. Had I? I asked myself.

I never saw moving to Italy as a mistake. I never saw going to USA as a mistake. I never saw them as a mistake and I never saw him as a mistake.

"I don't think I did. I have things I regret but I don't see any of the things I did as a huge mistake." I said being honest. She lit another cigarette.

"What kind of regrets?" She asked. I didn't know when the conversation had become about me but I wasn't complaining. Talking with Vic was a free therapy. Out of all people in the world, she might've been the one who I trust the most.

"I wish I could and I had talk more about my feelings. To you, to all of you. But especially to him."

"That's not something to regret," she immediately said. "It's a personality trait. It's who you are. You are a closed box and you only allow people you want to open it."

"I wish I was different then," I said. "It would make everything way easier."

"Sometimes, hard is the better way." she said. We stayed silent a bit after that. I had too much going on in my mind that it was hard to focus on one thing and talk only about it. It was Vic who broke the silence.

"Will you talk to him?" She asked. She looked like she was scared of the answer I might give.

"Of course I will, Victoria. We didn't broke up and I'm not running away from him. Not this time. Not anymore."

I just needed time to think. I was scared of future and I had a lot of things in my mind to figure it out.

"You may not be running away from him but I can feel that you're yet again facing your problems on your own. Don't torture yourself June. You're not alone."

"I'm glad I have you guys." I said. We both inhaled the smoke coming from our cigarettes. She smiled at me and I smiled back. I knew she was right and I had to talk to him. But she needed to do the same thing too.

"And you should talk to Ethan and Thomas," I reminded her. She exhaled uncomfortably.

"I know. I'm worried that they're angry at me."

"Believe me they are not," was my first response. I knew neither of them were a type to hold grudges. Especially not for someone they cared this much.

"They're just hurt because they think you don't support them." I added when she didn't give me a response.

"I do. I do support them. With all my heart. I just don't want to see them get hurt." She said, her eyes filled with guilt and she still looked worried.

"You should tell this to them."

After that we kinda got into thinking about our problems. I knew she was right and I had to talk to him. I knew what he was going to say. I knew what he had meant when we were fighting. There was no reason for me to run away or not listen to him. Losing him would be worse than anything I had been through in life and I would do anything to prevent that. I didn't went home with Vic for the night. I just needed one more night apart from him. One more spare time.

I had wished her good luck with talking to Ethan and Thomas and I told her to tell Damiano I was fine. I knew he was worried because I was worried about him too before Vic had told me he was 'all right'
*
I love their friendship soo much