Double Black

rings where we can see them, please!

bestdetective created a group chat: all hail me, an intellectual

bestdetective added michizoulol, notjinko, imgin, akutagawa, higucci, bestdoctor, morecrepespls, kenjikun and juni-churro to the chat

Everyone: ...?

bestdetective: according to my deductions, we're going to need a group chat to discuss the inevitable chaos that is going to happen soon 

***

Chaos touched Yokohama on a normal day, just because two men in their twenties decided so. No, seriously. The day started out perfectly normally for both the organizations that employ ability users. In the dreaded Port Mafia building, all the employees were arriving at work fairly early in the morning. Those who had slept in their offices at night, woke up and got right back to work in the same office. The Executives were busy looking at various operations and reading reports about missions. The esteemed Mafia Boss was up in his office with his ability Elise, the short blonde complaining about her cakes weren't moist enough. In short, everything was normal there.

Meanwhile in the Armed Detective Agency office, everything was once again normal. Kunikida arrived at the offices exactly on time, nine a.m. on the dot. Ranpo was busy munching snacks first thing in the morning. Atsushi was groaning over his beloved mentor's paperwork from the day before, which had been pushed on to him. Yosano-sensei was polishing her many, many tools, and the Tanizaki siblings were being their disturbing selves at the brother's desk. Kyouka and Kenji had brought crepes to eat for breakfast, after which Kenji fell promptly asleep. And finally, Dazai was late as usual.

An hour after the work day had started, Dazai Osamu, the former Mafia executive and current employee of the Detective Agency, waltzed into the Agency offices, devoid of any worries as usual. Kunikida was just about to reprimand him when he noticed the shining silver ring on his wretched co-worker's finger. And it wasn't just any finger. It was most certainly his wedding ring finger. Apparently, Kunikida wasn't the only one who noticed the addition of the new accessory on Dazai's finger. 

Yosano asked immediately, "Dazai-kun, what is that?"

The bandaged man smiled innocently, "What is what, Yosano-sensei?"

The Agency's resident doctor walked towards him and lifted his left hand to inspect the ring, "This! Is this a wedding ring?"

Dazai looked at his ring in surprise, as if this was the first time he noticed the ring on his finger, "Oh? This little thing? As it happens to be, it is a wedding ring."

By now, everybody had stopped working and were now looking at Dazai. Kunikida walked over to the apparently married detective, "Oi, Dazai. Is this some kind of joke? It's not very funny."

Dazai gasped dramatically, "Why would I joke about my marriage?! Of course, it's not a joke, Kunikida-kun! What kind of husband do you take me to be?"

The blonde man muttered, "A terrible one, most likely."

The bandaged detective recoiled in pretend shock, "I am a wonderful husband, I'll have you know!"

Before an argument could break out properly, the Agency's weretiger interrupted his superiors to ask meekly, "Um, Dazai-san. Why haven't you ever worn your ring before? Did you get married recently?"

Dazai waved his ringed hand around, "Oh no, I've been married for four years. I usually wear the ring on a chain around my neck at work. I do wear it on my finger at home, but it looks like I forgot to take it off today."

Kenji, who'd woken up by now, asked excitedly, "I'm sure your wife is a wonderful person, Dazai-san!"

Kunikida muttered again, "I pity her poor soul. What did she ever do to be stuck with the likes of you?"