Chapter 65

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Madelyns pov
It's currently 10pm and all younger ones settled down and were asleep early after they got tired out at Addies soccer game - Chase included.

I wanted to go talk to Ellie before she went to sleep though. She was in her bedroom and I was downstairs watching TV so I called her down. "Hi" she says and comes to sit next to me. "I just wanted to say I'm incredibly proud of you Els" I start to say. "You managed to go to Addie's soccer game and I know it might seem like a small thing but it's definitely a step forward" I tell her which puts a smile on her face.

"Thank you Mom, ever since I talked to you about everything it's made me feel like I could get better" she says and it makes me happy when I hear her say that. "I also wanna ask you something" she says. "Can we try find a therapist real soon. I think if we do now it'll help rather than in a few weeks" she tells me.

"Definitely. I've been looking at some today and I found one that I think really suits you.. she's called Jade and she seems really nice" I tell her. "I can call her tomorrow if you want?" I ask and she nods.

"Mom? Do you know my first therapist appointment, can you come with me. I don't wanna be alone and I would feel more comfortable with you there" she asks shyly. "Of course I can. You don't need to ask. If you want me there whenever, I'll be there and if you don't, I won't. It's completely up to you" I say and she smiles.

"What are you watching?" She asks, referring to the tv. "I haven't actually started anything yet, wanna watch something together?" I ask her and she gets all excited. "Dad made cookies, can we get some?" She asks but before I could even reply she was up and in the kitchen. She returned with cookies and popcorn for us both, alongside a can of soda each.

"I've missed spending time just the two of us" I admit. I always had a soft spot for Els. I did with all my kids but in particular Ellie. I think it was the fact when we first met she was so shy and I could tell how vulnerable she was. She was just my boyfriends little sister then but now she's my daughter and I couldn't be any happier with that.

Watching her grow up as been amazing. Sure, times like now are tough. But she's so strong and I know she'll get over this like she always does. That's something that amazes me about Ellie, she doesn't see it herself but she's always so determined to do things.

Once we choose a movie, she rests her head on my shoulder and I grab a blanket to put over the top of us. We eat our snacks and just laugh away to the movie, we decided on a comedy since we need the laughter at the minute.

The next morning
I messaged Jade this morning and she got back to be immediately and said she could see Ellie today. I told Ellie and she was happy about it but extremely anxious. "Please don't leave me with her Mom" she kept saying. "I promise I won't" I say. I was currently driving Els to her first therapy appointment.

As soon as we arrived, Jade (the therapist) greeted us. "Hi lovely, I can't wait to get to know you" she says, smiling to Ellie. "Is it alright if I stay with her? She's pretty anxious" I ask. "Of course, it is. Come on in" she says and we both sit down. Ellie sits very close to me and holds my hand, I can tell how nervous she is.

"I'm Jade, it's nice to meet you" she says. "I'm Ellie" Els replies back quietly. I've never known her to be this shy. "Tell me a bit about yourself, Ellie" Jade says. "Erm... well I'm 18. I have a boyfriend, Cooper and my best friends, Lilah, Zoe and Kiki and a lot of siblings" Ellie says cautiously. "How are your siblings? I use to find my sister annoying" Jade says, smiling. "I love them so much" Ellie says.

"How's your relationship with Mom and Dad?" She asks. "The best. They're my best friends and I'm so thankful to have them but all I wish is that they were always my parents" Ellie says and that makes me sad a little bit. "What do you mean?" Jade asks. Ellie takes a deep breath, "Well my Dad was actually my older brother. Our Mom died when I was young and when Chase had to travel for his acting, our Dad started abusing me. I told Chase and Maddie and they sorted it with the court and stuff.. you know? Anyways, our Dad died trying to kill me and Chase and Maddie adopted me and it's the best thing that's happened to me" Ellie says. "I'm sorry" Jade says. "It's alright, I prefer Chase and Maddie as my parents" Ellie says and smiles at me.

"Tell me about your thoughts, what goes on" Jade says. "I've struggled with bad thoughts ever since I found out I was pregnant but it got worse with the abortion pills I think" Ellie says, sadly. "Are you off the pills now?" Jade asks. "Technically I didn't take them all, I stopped. I couldn't continue with the abortion so I'm still pregnant" Ellie tells Jade. "I started harming myself last month and ever since I couldn't stop" she says and they talk a bit more.

"Next time you feel these thoughts, I want you to go to your Mom or Dad. Talk to them and tell them what's going on, they can help you. I know it's hard but if you distract yourself, the urges will calm down" Jade says.

Once the session was ended, I gave Ellie a big hug. "I'm so proud of you Els" I say and kiss her head. "That was hard but I feel like it's helped" she says. "With a few more sessions it'll definitely be better" she also says. "Ice cream?" I suggest and she nods. "Mom?" She says. "I wanna go surfing" she tells me. She hasn't been surfing since the whole situation. Me and Chase thought it was really weird for her but we immediately understood why. "I can call dad and you two can go" I suggest and she nods. "Will it hurt my cuts?" She asks cautiously.

"Maybe a little but with a wetsuit it'll be better, it's up to you" I tell her and she nods cautiously.

Each task is another achievement for her and I know how difficult she will find things but I'm proud of her for doing it.

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