The Weight of Dreams || Greta Van Fleet

Chapter 12: Almost Anything

Jake's P.O.V

Juliette backed away, a smile still on her lips. I could feel my cheeks burning under the palms of her hands.

She could tell.

"You should head back." She said. I sighed.
"Already?" I whined, leaning back in. She laughed, backing up, her smile growing.
"Yes, already." She said. "They're gonna wonder where you are."
"They know where I am." I laughed. She rolled her eyes, smirking at me.

"You know you can't tell them, right?" She said. I bit my lip, nodding.
"I know." I said quietly. She leaned back in, kissing my cheek before getting up from the couch.

I took the hint.

She followed me to the door, leaning against the banister.
"Goodnight, Juliette." I said. She crossed her arms, smiling back at me.
"Goodnight, Jake." I lingered a bit, but her smile grew. I could tell that was all I was getting tonight. I walked down the steps, gently closing the door behind me.

The air had gotten colder since I was last outside. I shoved my hands into my pockets, picking up the pace as I ran back to our bus. When I got inside, everyone was still awake sitting in the main area of the bus, waiting for me.

"So what happened?" Sam asked eagerly. He was sprawled out on the couch with his feet up and ice still on his hand. I could feel my cheeks already start to burn. I took a deep breath.
"Um.. nothing." I said, as nonchalantly as I could manage. "Everything is fine."

I wasn't a good liar.

"Fine?" Sam asked. He scrunched up his face, staring back at me. He could always tell when I was lying. It was going to be the hardest keeping anything from him. "Just fine?"

I bit down on my lip and nodded, heading back to my bunk. They all shot looks amongst each other. I could tell they didn't believe a word I said.
"Yeah. She.. she said we should just forget it ever happened." I said, tossing off my shirt and hopping up into my bunk.
"And.. how do you feel about that?" Josh asked.
"I'm fine." I said simply, turning to face the window.
"Are.. are you sure?" He asked. "Because.. you were pretty.. distraught an hour ago." I sighed.
"I was not distraught." I heard them laugh amongst each other.
"You kinda were." Josh said. I heard him get up from the couch. Great. He made his way over to my bunk.

"What happened?" He asked again. I could feel my heart beating faster.
"I told you, nothing happened." I said, doing my best to keep a neutral face. He stared back at me, skeptical. I could feel my face getting redder. He noticed.

"Then why are you blushing?" He asked.
"Because I don't understand why I'm being interrogated!"
"Because there's no way you can just come back from that and be fine." I heard Sam say. I sighed.
"Well, I am. There's nothing I can do to change it so.. I have to be okay with it."

They eventually backed off.

It wasn't long until the bus quieted down and the rest of them turned out the lights and climbed into their own bunks. I pulled my curtain shut, turning to face out my window again. The lights on Juliette's bus were still on.

It made me sad that she went through this all alone.

At least we all had each other during this journey. I guess being the center of attention isn't always all it's cracked up to be. I couldn't imagine living this life alone. Especially now knowing all I knew about her and Don, she truly has been alone.. her entire life.

Juliette's P.O.V

I tossed and turned and eventually saw the lights go out on the boy's bus. I wondered if Jake said anything. I was starting to wonder if I made a mistake. The idea of being with someone who actually.. liked me.. was so nice. But was it worth risking everything I had?

I heard my phone go off.

Sam: hey, are you up?

I felt my face burn. When did I get his number? I did get a new phone before the beginning of tour. Tony must have programmed everyone's numbers in.

Juliette: yeah. how are you feeling?
Sam: lol I'm fine.

He started typing and then stopped. On and off.

Sam: did you talk to Jake?
Juliette: yeah.
Sam: okay.

He was quiet again for a few minutes.

Sam: how are you doing?
Juliette: I'm fine.
Sam: I'm sorry if I upset you before. I didn't mean it.
Juliette: I know. It's okay.

I wished he was here instead.

I sat up in my bunk, looking out the window again. I wondered what this tour was going to be like. It was the first time I was ever on the road without Don, and it was the first time I was ever around someone else I had feelings for.

Feelings I had never felt before.

I couldn't remember the last time I felt nervous around someone the way I did when I was around Jake, the last time I felt sparks with the gentlest touch. I don't think I ever felt this way with Don, even in the beginning. It always felt so calculated and organized and planned, never exciting or... romantic. I always craved that feeling of someone being nervous around me, not because of what I did, but just because of who I was. Every time our eyes met it felt like my heart could pound out of my chest; I felt it from the moment I first laid eyes on him.

But then there was Sam.

I had never felt true comfort until I met Sam. My whole life, my closest "friends" were on my payroll. I appreciated Tony and Amy but.. you could never be sure when you're the reason for someone's livelihood where their true loyalty lies. If the money stopped tomorrow, would they still be there?

It never felt like Sam wanted anything from me. The moment we met I felt at ease, like I had finally found someone I could be myself around. And he's the only one who had ever stood up to Don for me (no matter what's bound to come of it), and that's something I would never forget. I feel safe with him; like I could tell him anything.

Almost anything.

I looked back down at my phone, assuming he had finally fallen asleep. I set my alarm for tomorrow morning, switching on Do Not Disturb and pushed my phone under my pillow. Turning over, I stared out my window until my eyelids grew heavy.

Sam: can I come over?