The Weight of Dreams || Greta Van Fleet

Chapter 50: You Could Hear It in the Silence

Jake's P.O.V

I loved the way she kissed me, the way she held me, the way she grabbed me like she just couldn't control herself. No one has ever made me feel more wanted than Julia, which is why it would hurt even more if she really only saw me as her.. play thing.

And the worst part was, even if she did, I still don't think I could bring myself leave. I was so in love with her that I was willing to settle for the fantasy of it all.

I instantly reached back for her as she moved away, flashing me a flirtatious grin, now guiding us through the bus and back towards her bedroom. I could already feel my heart beating faster, wondering if she was anticipating tonight being.. the night.

But then as she closed the door behind us, just like that first night, I felt something change. When it was finally just the two of us alone, for a moment it was possible to forget about the world outside, and whatever guard I had fooled myself into thinking could ever keep her away from me was instantly torn down. All it took was her looking at me like that, and.. I knew without a doubt I would cave in.

She then pulled me back into a series of passionate kisses, leading us towards the bed where we eventually lost our balance, her falling over me. I quickly grabbed onto her, pulling her in closer so she wouldn't tumble over.

I leaned back against her pillows as she followed, climbing into my lap, running her fingers through my hair as I felt myself melting from the inside out.

Oh, how I loved her..

I leaned back into a gentle kiss, wanting nothing more than to graze every inch of her skin with my lips. I carefully slide off her jacket, tossing it onto the floor, wanting as little between us as possible.

"Jake.." She whispered. I instantly stopped, moving away.
"I'm sorry, I just-"
"N-no, it's okay, if.. if you want to, I just.. I feel like I should tell you that I.. I mean, well, I don't really have a lot of experience in this kind of thing." She muttered, her cheeks now burning red.

Just seeing how she had acted around Don, I could only imagine how she must feel when it came to this, and the last thing I wanted to do was make her think that I was anything like him.

"What do you mean?" I whispered, gently brushing the hair out of her face. "Julia, we.. we don't have to.. I mean, well.. I don't think that I'm.." I stopped, feeling my face get hot, wondering if I should have said anything at all. I don't know how I always managed to do this. I knew how girls got. They wanted someone who knew what they were doing, and I don't think I could handle disappointing her, especially if she was going to look to me for what to do. I just wanted this, if there ever was a this, to be just as good for her as I knew it would be for me.

I also hated how the longer we went without doing it, the more pressure I felt to.. make it that much better. I had no idea what she would be expecting from me. I could only imagine what girls like her were into.. what they did.. I had no idea what I was doing..

"I just mean that.. well, with Don, it really wasn't about me, so.." She muttered. I nodded, holding my stare on her. I could only imagine how he treated her. It was infuriating to think about what she must've gone through with him. All I wanted to do was show her that.. it would never be like that with me.

"If it helps, neither do I." I finally said, giving her a reassuring smile.
"Really?" She asked. I nodded, feeling somewhat relieved that.. maybe this could be something that we could finally experience together.

"I think we should get you cleaned up first." I giggled, reaching over for her, gently wiping off the glitter that remained from the show. She nodded, taking my hand and helping me out of the bed, leading us into the bathroom.