The Weight of Dreams || Greta Van Fleet

Chapter 43: The Problem Is..

Jake's P.O.V

"What??" I asked, but she was quickly pulled away from me, thrown into a stadium filled with deafening screams, and for the next two hours, she would be theirs.

I hated how much more unwilling to share her I was becoming, especially when she wasn't even mine.

I listened from under the stage as she greeted the crowd, followed by another dragged out roaring of screams. I loved the idea of her standing up there, just soaking it all in. If anyone deserved to be loved so widely, it was her. And I felt lucky just to be one of the millions who adored her.

She was so easy to love.

I knew I had a little bit before she moved further back, becoming visible from the main stage, so I wanted to talk to the guys while I had the chance. It wasn't fair for me to make this decision alone, not when it involved all of us.

Making my way through the underground pathway, I made my way down the hall and could hear them talking amongst themselves in the dressing room, having left the door open, but everyone went silent when they heard me walk through the door.

Were they talking about me?

"She make it on time?" Josh joked, motioning for me to come over. I nodded, trying my best to contain the same smile that always escaped my lips when someone brought her up. When it came to her, happiness had become involuntary, and I loved every second of having finally fallen so deeply into.. this with her.

"Yeah.." I sighed, plopping down next to him on the couch, now running my fingers through my hair.
"Uh oh.. what's going on?" He asked. I peeked up at him, forgetting that he could always tell when something was wrong. It was one of the many things I loved about being a twin; I always had someone there to understand me, even when it felt like I didn't fully understand myself.

"I have.. something I need to talk to you guys about." I muttered. "While Juliette isn't here." His face dropped as he quickly peeked over at Sam, instantly bringing his attention back to me.
"What is it? What happened?" I hesitated for a moment, now second-guessing if I even should bring it up. Of course they were going to tell me to take the deal, they didn't feel the way I felt. They weren't involved like I was. This wasn't fair. This was everything we had ever worked for, and someone was willing to hand it to us, just like that.. and here I was, ready to turn it all down, for a girl.

But she wasn't just any girl.
She was the girl.

"Don bribed me.. to leave Juliette." I finally said, avoiding their eyes, now awkwardly picking at my nails. I figured it would be easier if I didn't see their real reactions to it. They were quiet, my guess shooting each other looks, questioning on how they were gonna handle this. I eventually felt Josh's hand on my shoulder.

"What did he offer you?" He asked. I bit down on my lip, peeking over at him.
"Everything." I sighed. He stared back at me, trying to figure out what that really meant, until eventually his eyes went wide. I nodded.
"You're joking.." He whispered. I shook my head.
"Can one of you fill us in?" Danny chimed in. "Not all of us are twins."
"Now you see what I go through." Sam muttered.

"How.. how is that even possible?" Josh asked. I shrugged, shaking my head.
"I don't know, but.. knowing him, it is. And as much as I hate to admit it, he.. has the power to do.. a lot, and.. I understand why Juliette is so hesitant to leave."
"What did he say?" Sam asked eagerly, now sitting up, leaning in closer.

"He said that.. if I left Juliette.. we would basically be set. Headlining tour, new buses, new record deal, everything.. we'd.. we'd basically be on their level." I scoffed, now hearing how ridiculous it sounded, finally saying it out loud.

"You're.. you're serious?" Sam asked, now looking back and forth between the two of us. I nodded, avoiding his eyes again.
"Jake, this is huge, this is.. life changing. So then.. what's the problem?"

The problem was, despite everything, I still knew which I would choose. Then I heard Josh sigh, shaking his head, giving me a gentle smile.

"The problem is he's in love with her." He said softly. I bit down on my lip, feeling like my whole body was on fire before eventually forcing myself to nod, peeking back up at him.

"Jake, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, you can't just-"
"It's not that simple, Sam." Josh cut in, but stopped himself. I could tell, he wanted to say how "Sam didn't understand," but deep down, part of me felt like he did, and I think Josh felt it too.

And I think that's why it was so easy for him to decide. None of us really knew what had gone on between the two of them, especially for her to suddenly stop hanging around him, despite how thankful I was for it. But I think the sooner Sam could get away from Juliette, the better. And this was his chance.

"Can we at least.. talk this through?" He asked. I nodded, despite knowing that I had pretty much already made my mind.
"Okay, so.. who's to say that.. we couldn't just.. take the deal and then.. she could leave him? Who says that you have to be the one to do this?" He made a good point, but I knew that one of Don's main concerns was hurting Juliette, which made this even worse.

"I can't do that to her." I mumbled. "I won't."
"But can't we just-"
"No, Sam." Josh snapped. I flashed him a timid smile, happy to have someone on my side. Even if he didn't agree, he could tell how much she meant to be.

"I just think it's a lot for you to turn down for someone who keeps you a secret." Sam scoffed. My heart dropped. I hated that despite everything, he was right. Regardless of what she said, in the end, she was still Don's, and everyone knew it, and I don't think I would ever truly feel like I was hers until she made it known that they weren't together anymore.

And I couldn't deny, everything Don had said still hung over me like the darkest cloud, making me feel like I was always seconds away from being taken out by the most gut wrenching storm that Julia could manage. Sure, we were happy now, but what if Don was right? What if I was just her little play thing to get back at him? Clearly it was working. Had she done this before? I hated that he was getting to me like this. What Julia and I had was special, and I knew that..

But even still. I would carry the weight of the word that lingered over me, leaving me ready to burst at the seams with intentions of such adoration that I know she's never experienced before, not ones so genuine, so fragile but so strong. There was no other word for it, but I knew I couldn't tell her. Not yet. Not until I knew for sure that she could cherish it in ways I would always cherish her.

How could something be so terrifying, and yet.. so sublime.

"Who's to say we even need him?" I finally added. "We.. we've made it this far on our own? We don't need someone like him giving us a handout. Sure, it may take a little longer but.. this tour is helping us out as it is, I don't think it would be unheard of-"
"I just think you need to consider all of us, and not just yourself, Jake. I know you like her but-"
"I love her." I finally blurted out, unable to contain myself anymore.

And I did.
I loved her.
And if I couldn't tell her, the least I could do is tell them.

The room fell silent.
I could tell the conversation was over.

"Now, I'm gonna go watch her. Are you guys coming with me?" I asked, pushing myself up from the couch. Sam stayed put, glaring up at me.
"Let's go." Josh said, getting up and flashing me an encouraging grin, motioning towards the door. I hesitated for a moment before realizing that neither of them would be joining us.
"Fine." I sighed, angrily making my way back out into the hall.

I heard Josh quickly making his way out, catching up with me.
"Thanks." I muttered, peeking over at him. "For having my back."
"Of course." He said simply, wrapping his arm around me, messing up my hair. "I've never seen you like this over a girl before, it's.. actually kinda nice, to see you so soft. Just.. don't fuck this one up."

I didn't intend to.