The Weight of Dreams || Greta Van Fleet

Chapter 70: It's You

And suddenly we were free.

The weight of the word having kept us from the edge, and now all I wanted to do was to free fall into him completely. He loved me. Not Juliette, but Julia. He loved me, and that's all I had ever wanted.

I pulled him into another passionate kiss, unable to contain my giddy laughter as I felt the curve of his smile against mine. I felt dizzy and lightheaded, unable to comprehend such happiness, having never felt like this about anyone before. He was mine, and we were in love and there was nothing that could ruin this.

Not tonight anyway.

I had been sure to leave my phone on their tour bus, just in case Don had figured it out early and decided to track me down before it was too late. But I wasn't going to let anything ruin what could potentially happen tonight, not after waiting this long for it.

There were no rules or conditions with Jake, we could simply live submerged within our newfound love without any regard for anyone else, because now, we were the only two that mattered.

"I've wanted to tell you for so long." I laughed, having now cuddled into his lap, gently brushing the hair out of his face. He stared back at me with lovestruck eyes, making me feel like I could melt right into the palm of his hands.
"So have I." He sighed. "I'm sorry I didn't say it first, I just-"
"It's okay. You deserved this from me. After everything." He smirked back at me.
"Maybe a little." I leaned into a gentle kiss, my heart jumping at the feeling of his hand carefully moving down, lightly caressing my face.

"You deserve the world." I whispered. "And I want to give it to you."
"You already have." He said as a flustered grin spread across his lips. I couldn't contain my giddy laughter, pulling him into another long kiss.

I couldn't remember a time where I was truly this happy.

And I know there were millions of people out there, wanting nothing more than to trade places with me, even just for a day, but they didn't know what it was really like, how much we pretended on the inside just to make sure everything looked perfect on the outside. If only they truly understood, then maybe they'd realize that nothing compared to this, and how I would trade it all for the feeling of being here with him, feeling so loved.

"I love you so much." I sighed, leaning into another series of kisses, unable to pull myself away from him.
"Julia.." He exhaled, kissing me back harder as he slowly positioned himself over me. I could feel my heart pounding, wondering if it was finally going to happen. I moved my hands down his chest, cautiously grabbing onto his shirt, waiting for him to make the move. This was something that he wanted to wait for, so I didn't want to make him uncomfortable by pushing it further than he was ready.

But how badly I wanted him.
And he could tell.

He hesitated for a moment before sitting up and yanking his shirt over his head, tossing it onto the floor before pulling me into another passionate kiss. I couldn't control my hands from making their way up his chest, now feeling his rapid heart beat. As calm as he pretended to be, I could tell he still wasn't completely sold on the idea.

"Is this okay?" I sighed, moving away, looking back up at him. He nodded, still looking unsure as he leaned into another kiss.
"Y-yeah." He said. "It's.. it's fine." But I could tell it was anything but. I moved away, now seeing his face drop.
"Jake, I remember what you said, and I don't want you to-"
"No, it's okay, I'm ready." He assured me, but I knew that tone, having heard him try his best to sound confident before.

"No you're not."
"I.. I can feel you're getting impatient so.. it's okay. I want to. I do. I promise." He said, now leaning in for another kiss.
"Jake.." I said softly, now stopping him. He held his nervous stare on me. This was supposed to be special, finally getting to be with someone like this, in the ways I've always dreamed of. So, I didn't want to rush it.

"Julia, I feel like.. if I keep making you wait then you're gonna lose interest and.. I can't los-" I stopped him, pulling him into a passionate kiss. I don't think there was anything he could ever do that would make me lose interest in him. No one has ever made me feel the way he did, and I wouldn't let that go for anything.

"I would wait forever for you." I whispered, leaning into a gentle kiss. He sighed, his face finally relaxing, giving me a gentle smile.
"I love you, Julia." He said, kissing me again. "I just.. I need it to be me."
"But it is you."
"I mean.. officially. And if you can't give me that right now, that's okay. I understand, but.. I just can't.. do this if you're gonna marry someone else. It would suck, but I could handle this heartbreak. Eventually. And.. maybe it's lame but.. if we were finally together.. that would destroy me. I couldn't handle losing you after that. I'm sorry."

Sometimes I just couldn't believe how sweet he really was. I had only ever been with Don, so the idea of being with someone new like this scared me too, but at the same time, it didn't. Because I did love him, and it just felt right. I wanted to experience this with him, and wanted to know what it felt like to do it with someone who truly loved me.

"It is you." I finally said, knowing that after this, there was no way I could ever go through marrying anyone else. He stayed quiet, as if trying to understand what I meant.
"You know what I mean." He said softly, avoiding my eyes as he reached over for my hand, gently intertwining our fingers. I gave him our usual three squeezes. A subtle grin escaped his lips, squeezing me back.

"I do."
"Julia, I don't want you to just say it because-"
"I can't marry him." I muttered. "Not anymore." He was quiet again.
"Julia.."
"It's you, Jake. It's always going to be you. I don't know how you did it but.. I met you and everything changed and now.. I just.. if I can't have you, I don't want any of it." His smile grew as he reached over, gently caressing my face.

"It's me?" He asked. I nodded, unsure of what else to say.
"And you're not just saying that to get me into bed with you?" He laughed. I shook my head, feeling my cheeks burn.
"Of course not." I sighed. "Though.. this is probably the only time we're going to be alone like this, and.. well.." He nodded, now giggling to himself, I'm sure understanding what I was implying.

"I just.. want you to pick me because it's what you want to do, not because you don't want to upset me. I understand what I'm asking, and I know it's a lot. I wouldn't blame you if you didn't. This is your life, Julia, but I just-"
"Exactly, it is my life. But it's never felt like it until I met you. But now.. I feel like.. it finally can be, and.. I don't know.. maybe we can share whatever's left of it.. together."
"Oh, Julia.." He sighed, now leaning his forehead against mine. The feeling of his fingers brushing against my cheek, only drawing me in further, wanting that much more from him.

But.. we still had a few days together before we had to go back to the real world. Everything didn't have to happen at once. We could enjoy right now, and that could be enough for me.

"How about this.." I said, finally moving away to face him. "Why don't you.. get me a drink, and then give me the rest of the tour?" I felt him relax, flashing me relieved grin.
"I can do that." He said, taking my hand and helping me up from the bed. "Come on."