The Weight of Dreams || Greta Van Fleet

Chapter 34: Spellbinding

Jake's P.O.V

My heart jumped at the sound of her opening the door again, quickly shutting and locking it behind her. Every time she locked the door it always made me nervous, wondering what she was anticipating to happen between us.

But knowing her, she probably never had a minute to herself, so locking her doors was the only way she could ever get any peace. I didn't want to look too far into it.

"So, who was that?" I asked nonchalantly, avoiding her eyes, knowing exactly who it was. She wouldn't have left the room if it wasn't him. She forced a sympathetic smile, crawling back over to me across the bed.

"We.. um.. we don't have to talk about that." She said, now staring up at me with those eyes that could get me to do whatever she wanted. I was putty in her hands and she knew it, making this whole thing so unfair.
"Okay." I muttered, despite wanting nothing more than to talk about it.

She could tell.

"I just don't want to drag you into all of this." She said, placing her hand on my leg, her fingers now slowly gliding up and down. I could feel my heart start to beat faster, my face now obviously blushing.

"Well, what if.. I want to be dragged into this?" I said, peeking back over at her. She then reached up, gently caressing my face. My eyes instantly moved back down to her lips, wanting nothing more than for her to kiss me again.

But she didn't.

"No, cause.. you're right. It's not fair to involve you if I can't make any promises to you." She sighed. My heart sunk. I know that's what I had said, but part of me was hoping she'd take the hint and.. change her mind. She didn't need him. She didn't need anyone.

Why was it that everyone could see it but her?

Just last night alone should have shown her just how easy it was for us to be together. She was safe with me. She didn't have to put on this act like she did with everyone else. I was falling for Julia, not Juliette, and I don't know what else I could do to show that to her.

"Julia, do you.. do you love him?" I finally asked, something that had been creeping in the back of my mind ever since she had explained this whole arrangement to me. Sure, her feeling stuck for the sake of her career was one thing, and of course that was easy for her to talk to me about, but if she had real feelings for him too, that was a whole different story.

Her face dropped as she held her stare on me, staying silent for way longer than I anticipated.
"It's just.. it's not that simple." She muttered.
"I mean.. I.. I think it is, you either love the guy or you don't." I said, hating that I had probably ruined what moment we could have had before I had to go back to my bus, but I couldn't just live in this pretend world with her if it meant one day I would have it ripped out from underneath me when she decided she was done playing.

Finally she sighed, taking my hand and gently pulling me down next to her as she cuddled closer to me, as if this bed was our new safe haven, and anything that was said or done beneath the covers was for us and only us, heavy blankets shielding us from the outside world, keeping our secrets locked tight underneath.

"I think that.. I loved the idea of him." She finally said. "Things weren't always like this, they were good once, they were.. how I thought relationships were supposed to be, but.. the more and more I start to feel.." She stopped, her voice trailing off as her eyes met mine again. I couldn't help but smile, hoping I understood where she was going with this.

"I.. I guess.. well.. maybe I'm starting to see what something real can feel like.. and maybe it's making me realize that.. what I thought was love.. wasn't actually love at all." She whispered. I bit down on my lip, nodding as I held my stare on her.