The Weight of Dreams || Greta Van Fleet

Chapter 25: Too Good For Me

My heart jumped. 

I bit down on my lip, holding in my smile.
"You know.. I've never really had a normal boyfriend before." I said, feeling my cheeks burn. He giggled to himself, looking back down at our hands.
"Oh, so I'm normal, huh?" He asked, his smile growing.
"No, Jake, you.. you know what I mean.." I said softly. He nodded, peeking back up at me.
"Don't worry.. I don't mind." He said. "But I am a little more into the fact that.. you called me your boyfriend." I couldn't help but smile, playfully shoving him away. He laughed, grabbing onto my arm, pulling me back in.

"So.. when do you have to make up your mind?" He asked, staring back at me, his eyes moving down to my lips. I felt my heart start to beat faster.
"Soon." I said. He nodded, moving in closer.
"How soon?" He asked with a smirk. My smile grew.
"Probably.. today, knowing Don. I wouldn't be surprised if he already made the call to his parents." I said softly. He nodded again, reaching up, gently holding my face in his hand.

"Jake.." I said softly. He stopped, peeking back up at me.
"Mhm?" He asked, biting down on his lip.
"I.. I don't want to hurt you."

He held his stare on me for a moment, before backing away.
"I don't mind." He whispered. I sighed, giving him a gentle smile.
"Yes you do." His smile grew as his cheeks burned.

"Jake, you're.. amazing. Probably one of the sweetest guys I've ever met-"
"So then what's the problem?" He asked, flashing me a smile. I sighed, trying to contain mine. 

Him being so cute made this that much harder.

"I just.. I don't want you to get involved in all of this." 
"Juliette, I told you, I don't-"
"But I mind." I said, cutting him off. "This is.. way bigger than you could ever understand." He held his stare on me for a moment, his face dropping.

"Juliette, this.. kinda sounds like.. you have made up your mind." He said softly. I shook my head, looking back down at our hands.
"I haven't." I said quietly. "I just.. I don't think this should go any further.. at least.. until I do."
"But I told you, I don't-"
"For me." I said, biting down on my lip. He stared back at me, confused.

"W-what do you mean?" He asked, moving closer to me. I looked down, avoiding his eyes.
"I mean.. I didn't expect to like you this much.." I started. "So.. I don't want this to go any further.. cause I know that if it has to end.. it'll hurt me."

"Okay.." He finally said. "I understand." I smiled back up at him, gently touching his cheek.
"Thank you." I sighed. I could see his smile growing as his eyes moved back down to my lips.
"Does that mean.. I can't kiss you anymore?" He asked, giggling to himself. I bit down on my lip, containing my smile.
"Yes." I laughed, pulling my hand away. "That means.. we probably shouldn't be touching at all  anymore. And.. I can't be seen with you." He sighed, holding his stare on my lips as he bit down on his. 
"Do you want me to go?" He asked. I felt my heart beating faster.
"No.." I said softly. "But.. you probably should." He nodded, finally looking away.
"Okay.." He said, getting up from the couch. He made his way over to the door, stopping to look back before leaving.

"If you change your mind-"
"You'll be the first to know." I said, smiling back at him. He smirked, holding his stare on me for a moment before walking down the steps, shutting the door behind him.

I sighed, lying back down on the couch staring up at the ceiling. Why did this have to be so hard? I knew what I wanted to do, but I also knew what I had to do. There were too many people relying on me to just quit now, and for what? Over a boy? I quickly shook the thought. Despite doing this my entire life, I had worked for this, I had earned all of this. Was I really willing to throw it all away? 

And for what?

I felt my cheeks burn. I knew what for, but nothing was guaranteed. I had never gotten to experience an actual relationship before, and for all I knew, this could make me happier than this life ever could. What good was this life if you didn't have someone you loved to share it with?

Soon, there was a knock at the door.
"Come in.." I groaned, holding my stare.
"Juliette.." Tony said, making his way up the stairs. "W-.. what are you doing?"
I sighed, shaking my head.
"Nothing.." I muttered. He came over, sitting down across from me. I eventually forced myself to sit up.
"So, I saw Jake leave.." He said with a smirk. I nodded, feeling my cheeks burn.

He could tell something was up.

"What's wrong?" He asked.
"Don proposed." I sighed, peeking up at him. His face dropped as he stared back at me, wide-eyed.
"What the hell do you mean Don proposed?" He yelled. "When?? How??" I rolled my eyes, lying back down on the couch.

"Well, I mean.. I guess he didn't officially propose yet but.. he said he was going to. He said.. 'it was time.' Because his family saw all of the videos of me and Jake.. so now we have to do something to.. make it all go away."

Tony nodded, his face getting angry.
"And you're going to say no, right?" He asked. My cheeks burned as I avoided his eyes.
"Right?" He snapped, his voice getting louder.
"Tony, I don't know, I just-"
"What do you mean you don't know? Don is awful, Juliette. You know it, I know it, everyone knows it. You cannot go through with this."

I sat up, staring back at him.

"But if I say no-"
"If you say no, then you're finally free. Obviously he knows how much he needs you. That's why he's doing this." He said, glaring back at me.
"If I say no.. all of this could go away, Tony. I.. we don't know. That means everyone is done. Not just me, but you, amy.." He finally got quiet, biting down on his lip, holding his stare on me.

"See.. it's not that easy." I sighed.
"It is though." He said softly. "Amy and I.. we'll manage. And what about-"
"I already talked to him about this." I said, cutting him off. He nodded, his smile growing.
"And what did you say?" He asked.

"No matter what happens, Tony.. I don't want to hurt him."
"Why would you hurt him?"
"I think he may be.. too good for me." I said softly. "I just.. I'm used to all of this.. and.. he's not. I've never had the real thing before, and.. I don't want to ruin things with him while I try to find out if I can even do it. Maybe.. I just can't. And.. I don't want him to be the one to find that out. So.. I told him.. it was best if.. we didn't-"
"Oh, you must really like him then." He said. I could hear the smile in his voice. My cheeks burned bright red.

"Shut up." I said, smirking back at him.
"I never thought I'd see the day." He said, staring back at me wide-eyed.
"Alright, alright.." I said, rolling my eyes. "I like him."
"But what about-" I quickly shook my head, looking away.
"Okay.." He said simply, understanding. "But either way.. you need to think about you, Juliette.

I nodded, looking away again. He sighed, taking the hint, going over to the door.

"But.. if it's any consolation to you.." Tony said, peeking out from the doorway. "Harry's agent has also gotten in contact with me.. apparently you stood him up the other night, and he's now asking for your number. So, don't underestimate yourself, Juliette. There are other options out there." He gave me a wink before quickly making his way down, shutting the door behind him.