The Weight of Dreams || Greta Van Fleet

Chapter 60: I'll Follow You Anywhere

"I want to talk about it now." Jake said, refusing to let go. I shook my head, pulling him into another long kiss before playfully shoving him away.
"They're waiting for you." I laughed. He held is stare on me, still reluctant to leave. By now, Danny had already begun playing their intro, the screaming of the crowd growing louder as the lights dimmed and we were both submerged within the darkness of uncertainty.

I wanted to tell him, more than anything, he deserved to know how I felt, but it still.. didn't feel just right, and we deserved just right. We deserved perfect.

"I promise." I assured him, caressing his face, getting lost in the subtle highlights of his eyes that somehow managed to glow in the shadows, as if he was just made of light. He sighed, eventually nodding before leaning into another long kiss, and then finally running on stage. I quickly backed further into the wings, cautious of the first few rows that could definitely see us if they were paying attention, hoping he was just as distracting to them as he was to me.

He was mesmerizing; he reminded me of why I loved music to begin with. It was magical and inspiring and made you believe that anything was possible, and I was really starting to believe that with him, anything could be.

"I figured I'd find you here" I heard from behind me. I didn't have to turn around to know it was Amy, eventually feeling her standing there next to me.
"So what are you gonna do?" She asked. I finally forced myself to turn away from the stage, peeking over at her.

"He rigged it." I said, looking back out. She was quiet.
"How do you know?"
"He told me. And then after I win, he's going to propose."
"Juliette.." She sighed. I shot her a look. She nodded.
"Julia.."
"I just wanted to win.. because I earned it. Not because he bribed them."

It wasn't fair. I worked harder than anyone. I deserved it more than anyone. And even still, the only reason I was getting this was because of him. It made me not even want it anymore. It meant nothing if I didn't earn it myself.

"Their hometown show is the same night." I added. She nodded.
"It is." She said simply. Peeking back at her, she was already giving me a gentle smile.
"He really wants me to be there."
"It seems like.. you really want to be there too."

I really did.
If it was important to him, it was important to me too.

"But.. if I don't go to the Gr-"
"If you don't go, he can't humiliate you." She said sternly. "And isn't that really what this is all about? Taking away your moment? I know how badly you've wanted this, Julia, but.. if you go, it's not going to go the way you've always dreamt it would, and I think that'll hurt you more than anything. If.. you go to Michigan, you can still win the award.. but.. you can avoid the proposal all together. And no one will ever know."

There more I thought about it, the more I realized.. she was right. What could he do if I just.. didn't show up? Especially if he didn't win, which.. he never mentioned anything about him winning. And then I could deal with everything after I got home, but at least he wouldn't have the opportunity to get us on a stage of such magnitude. If anything, this would put it off that much longer.

But deep down, I think I had already made up my mind.

"Amy.."
"I will support you in whatever you want to do, you know that. This is your life, Julia, not his. So.. if your heart is pulling you to Michigan, then I think you should listen to it."
"And what if.. after I don't show up.. he decides that.. that's it." She shrugged, looking back out at the stage. I did the same, unable to contain my smile seeing Jake make his way out towards the edge, perfectly lit by the spotlight.
"Would that really be so bad?"

I knew that a brand new life lied just on the other side of being brave enough to jump off the ledge, but.. it felt like my feet were cinder blocks, and no matter how hard I tried to chip away at them, there was always someone there to pick me back up and dip me in wet cement again.

And then I met Jake, and despite the substantial weight I was forced to carry, he gave me the wings strong enough to lift me off the ground. But I knew I would never truly soar until I broke free from the overbearing burden of this life that always dragged me down.

And now was my chance.
I just had to take it.

"You love him, Julia, and this would mean everything to him. And.. if you can't tell him how you really feel, this would at least be the best way you could ever show him. And you know that.. if the roles were reversed, he would drop everything for you too. If you asked him to, you know that.. he would miss the show just to tag along with you." I could feel tears coming to my eyes, my heart now beating faster. She was right. But that didn't make it any less terrifying.

"But I would never let him do that." I muttered, trying to stop myself from crying.
"I know you wouldn't." She sighed. I peeked back at her to see her already giving me a sympathetic smile. She reached over, gently dabbing under my eye, careful not to ruin my makeup.

"I have never seen you get like this over Don, not even on your best day, and I hope to God I never have to see you again without this feeling that Jake clearly gives you. I feel like.. you're finally Julia again, and if he brings that out in you, please don't let that go. Juliette is beautiful, but.. I know the world could learn to love Julia too, if you ever decided to show them."

I stared back at her as I saw tears come to her eyes now too. I knew it was her job to be there for me, but even still. She was the best friend I had ever had.

I pulled her into a tight hug. She squeezed me tighter, holding on until I finally let go.
"If it was you.." I said, peeking back out at the stage. "W-what would you do?"
"I would say that.. I created all of this once. I can do it again. So.. I should go after the one that I may never find again." She said, motioning out towards Jake. I nodded, wiping my eyes again.
"Thank you." I mouthed to her, trying my best not to cry again. She nodded, her smile growing.
"Just know that.. I'll follow you anywhere, Julia. Now.. I'll leave you two alone." She gave me a wink before making her way back out into the hall.

Despite the fact that we couldn't be less alone right now, any time I was with him, I felt like we were the only two people in the world; he always made sure of that, something that made all the difference when I spent every moment of my life surrounded by people who always wanted too much from me.

He never asked for anything, but still gave me everything. And he deserved that too.

Soon enough, they took their bows, waving to the crowd as they embraced them with open arms. I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried when I first found out they were joining the tour, considering how different we were, but I loved how much they were being welcomed. If only my fans knew just how much it mean to me that they loved him just as much as I did.

One by one the guys made their way off stage, flashing me delighted grins, still glowing from the adrenaline and frenzy of the show; I wished everyone could experience the high you felt coming off stage after a great show. You were untouchable.

And then I saw him, instantly feeling my heart melt within my chest, like my body had already figured out what my mind couldn't yet seem to grasp.

She had already chosen him.

"Jake, I-" He then grabbed my waist, pulling me into a passionate kiss, his lips instantly curling into that familiar grin I loved so much. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he lifted me up, playfully spinning us around until he finally moved away, leaning his forehead against mine, still catching his breath as he gazed back at me, his eyes just as hypnotizing as ever.

"What did you want to say?" He asked. I bit down on my lip, feeling my heart now pounding in my chest. I knew what I had to do, and I was finally sure.
"When you guys go home, I'm going with you."