Whispers Of False Promises » bangchan [indefinite hiatus]

episode 4: elevator to my dreams

I woke up with a start to the sound of my alarm blaring beside my bed, and groggily blinked. The sun had not risen yet, and it was common for me to wake up during this time. I sat up on my bed, the blankets still covering my legs, and fragments of the dream that I just had were making themselves remembered. 

I had seen Eunji after a long time in my dream. Although I felt melancholic, something about her words disturbed me. What kind of a chance was she talking about granting me?

Suddenly, the blankets weren't holding me to my bed. It was the weight of thoughts that were the consequences to the kind of dream I had dreamt. I was pretty sure that it was my subconscious mind trying to rid me of my loneliness by making me picture things and cause delusions. What kind of a deal would it be to love someone until one of you dies, so you return to a certain point in time, not remembering a thing? 

What kind of entertaining plots was I making up in my dreams? 

Thinking that it was probably just a random -- but perplexing -- dream I had had,  brushed it off, sliding off the covers and heading to continue with my daily routine. 

--- 

The clock had struck exactly 10:41 AM when my phone tinged with a mail. 

I took off my headphones to check it, not exactly feeling hopeful about it. It could be a subscribed mail to a website, or a promotional message, but my eyes almost popped out of my skull when I read the name of the sender: JYP Entertainment. 

With shaky hands, I clicked the mail open, breaths coming erratic to me and eyes desperately scanning the phone's screen. And there it was -- an acceptance letter, at last. 

Greetings, Lee Kaira,

Congratulations! You have been chosen to train at the JYP Ent.!

The mail continued with a long list of details, rules and regulations, and congratulatory gestures. I stared at the mail, swiping up and down the screen to ensure whether I had read it wrong. I scanned the mail six times, rereading the words again and again, and I saw a teardrop falling on the phone's screen. 

I hadn't even realized when I had started crying. Out of happiness, of course. 

"This... isn't real, right?" I whispered to no one but myself, eyes hazy, filled with gleeful tears; and I pursed my lips to stop myself from crying out loud. 

It was real. I had made it to the first step of my career. 

And it was overwhelming. I couldn't possibly hold up the weight of such happiness all by myself. 

I called up my father, feet tapping in anticipation of him picking up the phone and hearing about my first successful accomplishment and feeling proud of me and sharing the news with my mother and finally smiling in satisfaction after Eunji had bid us adieu. 

After four long rings, he picked up, "Kaira? You've called after a long time." 

"Dad..." I croaked out a whisper, throat filled with tears. 

"Are you okay, child?" 

"Dad... I got selected to be a trainee..." and when I finally let those words out of my mouth, it felt like a burden had bene lifted off my shoulders. All those years of begging myself to keep on going without having a direct route to my dreams, crying out of frustration due to failing and getting rejected over and over, feeling hopeless because of no clear vision of even seeing success -- it all paid off, all for this moment. 

I heard him from the other end, "Wow, Kaira! I... You've made it! You're almost there, my child!" he called for my mother, vigor finally evident in his voice, "I'm so, so proud of you!" 

It ached me to hear that -- the most wonderful, satisfying kind of ache there existed. 

My mother came on the line, and when I told her about it, she gasped, "Really? Kaira, really?" 

"Yes, mom!" I exclaimed, feeling the joy at last. 

"I can't believe that you've... grown up so much! Eunji would have been so proud of you!" 

I reminisced about what Eunji had told me in my dream; that when I wake up, all my dreams would come true. Was it a coincidence that this happened right after I dreamt that? Or did the significance of her words go deeper than that? 

Was it you who lead me to the elevator to my dreams, Eunji? 

(a/n: an embarrassing confession: me and my friend auditioned for JYPE in 2020 for fun. did i get selected? yes, im currently writing this from the trainee studio in Seoul. LMAO NO JK but we did audition- 

how was thissssss? ik we're going a little slow but who knows we might see chan in the story soon? ;)) 

thanks for reading! i love you!)