Whispers Of False Promises » bangchan [indefinite hiatus]

episode 38: a magical trance

"I have loved you, in every life,

I think -- Scatter my atoms across the universe,

And still, they would know your name. 

Softly, I become endless, in you."

- Anonymous 

_____

And there he was. 

Standing at the far end was Chan, dressed in a black suit, looking classy and elegant. As soon as I began walking toward him, my hand grasping my dad's arm, he looked at me, and I could see affection oozing out of his gaze. A wide, tight smile spread across his face, and I softly smiled back; I was no longer in control of myself, and nor was time in control of this very moment. 

Just as Eunji had said, it seemed as if all my life had led me to this very moment. 

The walk to the altar seemed to be taking too long, as I tread my way to him, enchanted. All the people around us who had stood up for us, all the cameras that flashed and captured this moment, all the anxiety I had been feeling all this while -- nothing seemed to draw me out of this zone of pure and utter love. Love, for him. Love, for Bang Chan. 

As I got closer, I realized that Chan had shed a tear or two, and I was tearing up as well. 

By the time I approached him, tears had slipped down my face, and his eyes were rimmed with tears as well. My father withdrew his arm, caressing my head, and I looked at him, smiling gently. 

"She's yours now, son. Take care of my daughter, please," my father spoke to Chan, and he nodded reassuringly, "Always, sir." 

My father retired to the seats, and once again, Chan and I had locked eyes and were immersed in our little bubble of adoration. Offering me his hand, he grinned at me, his smile breaking through the shallow veil of tears that had plastered his handsome face. I gladly accepted it, climbing up the two stairs that led me to him. 

The priest stood a few steps away, and he read out his prayers -- I did not know what they were because I was no longer listening. I was so deeply entwined in the color of his eyes, the curve of his smile, the feeling of his hands in mine. I was holding both his hands, and he was gazing at me with such fragility, such adoration, that I felt like I was finally someone important; I was finally someone worth smiling for. And only he could make me feel this way. 

"Do you, Bahng Christopher Chahn, take Lee Kaira as your wife?" 

"I do," his eyes never left mine as he said those words, the softness in his gaze melting my insides steadily. 

"Do you, Lee Kaira, take Bahng Christopher Chahn as your husband?" 

"I do," my vision was completely blurry now, curtained by the tears flowing out. Chan left one of my hands and wiped my tears off, even though he was on the verge of crying, too. 

"I now pronounce you husband and wife."

Those words felt like a pang of satisfaction right in my heart; as if I had waited and waited to hear those words, even though I had never imagined in my wildest, most unhinged dreams, that I would stand before Bang Chan like this -- my hands in his and my eyes meeting his -- and get to speak those sacred, wonderful words to him, and have him say them back. If this was a dream, then I never wish to wake up. 

Chan cleared his throat, blinking back his tears, as he began with his part of the vows, "Kaira, I never thought I'd be lucky enough to stand before you and say these vows to you -- my muse, my love. But as I say 'I do' today, I mean that I will stay by your side until the very end of our story. And I'll shield you from all ills a million times over, until I cannot anymore; because you hung up all the stars in my sky, Stara. You complete me in ways I never knew were possible. You make me a better version of myself. You, who opened suns in my heart. You, who taught me what love really means. I promise to cherish you, in sickness and in health, in happiness and in sorrow, until my death and beyond. I love you, Kaira. Thank you for becoming a part of me." 

By now, I was biting my lower lip to stop the sobs from escaping my mouth. Chan had shed tears, and I was barely ready to say my part of the vows. However, I began, 

"Chan, falling in love with you came so easily to me. It was as if my soul was already in love with you and the rest of my body was just catching up. Your smiles and your words, your hugs and your kisses, your tears and your frowns -- you, as an angel, are the horizon I beg to reach; and now that I have you with me, for this life and beyond, I am inexpressibly happy. Because you, my love, are like a white untouched rose at the top of the hill, and everything around is war and mud and blood. Thank you for falling in love with me, thank you for breathing life into my carcass of a life. You are my every dream come true, and I can't wait for the reality we get to build together. I love you, Chan, and I promise to love you for eternity." 

Chan, by now, was sniffling. I could hear sniffles coming from the audience, and it felt like a magical trance -- curated just for him and me. For us. 

I was, now, Bang Kaira. 

(a/n: i almost cried hahahahaha 

i wrote the vows on a whim, so i'm not sure if they're actually good or not. did you like em??

thanks for reading! i love you!)