Whispers Of False Promises » bangchan [indefinite hiatus]

episode 9: possibility of him

I promised myself that I wouldn't expect anything from my future. I promised myself that I wouldn't let the possibility of him be the sole center of my existence. I promised myself that I would not be lured into a melody of enchantment by him if I ever saw him. I had promised myself all this a long time ago, but now, holding the laptop that Bang Chan had presented to me two days ago, with his sweet words and velvety voice and twinkling eyes and moon's crater-like dimples and bright smile still fresh as ever in my mind, I was beginning to lose hold of the promises I had made to myself. I was beginning to falter. I was beginning to dream of him more, even when I was awake. And I was beginning to shift the center of my gravity to the possibility of him. 

"You zone out so easily," Hyeon-ju spoke, giving me a glass of Iced Americano, and I thanked her, accepting it. 

"I still can't believe that the Bang Chan gifted you a laptop," she spoke with wide eyes, "Like, what happened? That's such an out-of-the-blue thing that he did!" 

"I... don't know," I shrugged, "I think he felt bad for me on that evaluation day." 

"I don't think it's pity, though," Hee-yeol smirked, and then turned his chair toward us, "I saw him stealing glances at you yesterday." 

"What?" I cried incredulously, "Pfft, no. Not possible!" 

"Believe me!" he argued, "Remember how we were waiting outside the lift yesterday and 3RACHA walked out of it? As we walked in and they walked out, I turned to see Bang Chan turning around to look at you." 

"Oh, my gosh!" Hyeon-ju gasped, "Is he interested in you, Kaira?!" 

"Are you hearing yourself?" I snickered humorlessly, even though I wanted their words to be true, "Why would he be interested in me?" 

"Come on; you're talented, you're pretty, you're kind. What more does a man want?" 

"God, Kim Hyeon-ju!" 

I desperately, helplessly wanted their words to be factual and real; because even though I was sinking in my delusions, I wanted a desirable way out of this spiral. At least that was what I wished for. Although Chan falling in love with me seemed ridiculous as well as so dreamlike, I had begun wishing for it. Well, like a true delusional fan now, wasn't it?

"But I'm shipping you with Bang Chan now," Hee-yeol spoke, "And you cannot convince me otherwise." 

I sighed.

--- 

In the blink of an eye, it was time for the next evaluation day. 

This time, I had guessed all the possible probabilities of something going wrong, and fixed them, and I was all prepared for this month's evaluation. So, as I got called in for my round of trial, I breathed in and out, carefully carrying the laptop that Chan had given me, and placing it on the table, I bowed before Park Jinyoung. 

This time, Chan was nowhere to be seen.

The slightest frown showed on my lips, and I instantly masked it with a smile, "Good afternoon, sir." 

"Good afternoon," he spoke with the same smile that is always plastered on his face, "I hope you have checked your equipment this time?" 

"Yes, sir," I chuckled nervously, "Nothing shall go wrong this time." 

"We shall see that," the smile didn't wash off his face, "Please start."

I took my spot, and closed my eyes. This was it. I did not need to be so nervous; if I was so well prepared, then it was the result I should worry about, not the process. 

I opened my eyes, and clicking on some keys, the music started. 

--- 

"Guys!" I squealed, walking out of the room, "I did well!" 

Hyeon-ju clapped, "Proud of you, girl!" 

"And you know what he said? He said, and as I quote, 'If you keep up the good work, I might assign you to the next artist we're supposed to debut.'" 

"No way!" she squealed as well, and Hee-yeol was agape, "He actually said that?! Oh, damn!" 

"Yes!" I gleefully beamed, "I was so shocked, like-" 

Hee-yeol nudged me in the gut, as if trying to alert me about something. I looked at him, still smiling widely, "What?" 

"Turn around," he mouthed, and I did so, stopping in my tracks as I did. Bang Chan was walking toward us, along with Seo Changbin and Han Jisung. Hyeon-ju elbowed me on my back, so that her action was hidden behind me, and I could do nothing, because I was frozen to my spot. The two behind me bowed before them, and I was late to the parade in bowing. 

"Ah, am I late?" Chan asked, "Are the evaluations over?" 

"Yes, she just gave hers as the last one," Hee-yeol spoke as if he was the most confident person ever. 

"Oh, how did it go? I really wanted to listen to yours," he frowned, looking directly at me. And all I wanted was to wipe that frown off his face, kiss those plump lips into a smile. 

"A-Ah," I fumbled with my words, my face heating up immediately, "It went well, all thanks to you." 

"It did?" a warm smile graced his lips, "It was all you, so you don't need to credit me for anything." 

"It wouldn't have been possible without you gifting me that laptop," I reasoned, and Jisung raised a brow, saying, "Oh, she is the one you got it for?" 

Chan nodded at him, and Changbin scanned me, and then said with a little smile, "Nice to finally meet you, Kaira." 

Finally? 

(a/n: why do you think changbin said that? (obvious) 

I cannot WAIT FOR THE ROMANCE TO BEGIN BEC I'VE GOT A LOT OF STUFF FOR YOU GUYS IN THAT AREA- 

how was thissssss? :D 

thanks for reading! i love you!)