Whispers Of False Promises » bangchan [indefinite hiatus]

episode 11: don't let this be a dream

I glanced at Hyeon-ju and Hee-yeol sitting beside me, working on their own tracks, and I was wondering whether I should tell them about my meeting with Bang Chan. That he told me that I look pretty when I smile. 

Pondering over his compliment, I opened my phone's front camera and stared at myself. I had slight under-eye bags due to the lack of rest I had been facing for months, my nose looked too crooked, and my lips were folded in a poker face. Must I smile more? 

I lifted the edges of my lips upward, the bottom lip spreading and my cheeks stretching; there were creases beside my eyes -- I observed, because I had never noticed myself so much in such a light. The last time I would have been this observant of my smile must have been when I smiled for the first time in a mirror when I was very young. And I looked better this way. 

"Hey, Kaira? You checking out yourself or what?" I heard Hee-yeol speak, and my smile wore off in a millisecond as I snapped my head to the side to face him, "Huh?" 

"You're watching yourself smile. That's kinda creepy..." 

"Shut up, kid," Hyeon-ju intervened, "She looks good when she smiles." 

"Self-love at its finest, I guess?" 

I chuckled, "I was just seeing how I look like when I smile. Someone told me I look pretty doing it, so yeah."

"That 'someone' is a godsend," Hyeon-ju sighed in agreement, "You should smile more often, Kaira. I'm sure that person must have seen you smile for the first time to have dropped such a compliment." 

"I guess?" I sheepishly chuckled. 

She grinned, "I wish you find someone who makes you smile all the time, soon." 

---

It was late at night -- about 2 AM. I had been working on a track for the past seven hours continuously, and even though I was making it, I didn't particularly like it. It was frustrating because I had been working on it for so long and it was proving to be unsatisfying. Hyeon-ju and Hee-yeol had left hours ago, and even though I was a bit afraid of working alone at the headquarters, I had to do what I was doing. 

I took off my headphones and arched my back, stretching to remove the soreness of my body. I yawned, my eyes heavy due to the lack of sleep, and I shut my laptop. I had to get home to get some rest, I reckoned, and I packed up my belongings and left the building. 

The air was chilly as it felt, and I rubbed my arms with my hands, obviously underdressed for such weather. My eyes were hurting, but I had to be alert since it was the middle of the night and it was rather unsafe to go alone. 

"Hey, Kaira!" 

How do we always seem to cross paths? 

I turned around, "Oh! Hello, Chan!" 

He jollily walked up to me, his laptop bag's strap across his chest and on his shoulder, and breath vapor elicited from his mouth as he spoke, "What are you doing here at this time of the night?" 

"I... was working on a track," I spoke, my arms shivering.

"You're cold," Chan noticed, and then said, "Come with me. My manager and I will drop you home." 

"N-No, it's fine-" 

"It's 2 AM, and I'm not letting you be on your own at this time," he frowned, and I jitterily fidgeted, and a thought later, I agreed to it, considering that I was genuinely very tired. I followed him like a puppy to the car, and as the manager sat in the front seat, Chan climbed in and turned to me, "Come in, Kaira." 

I hesitantly climbed in, and suddenly self-conscious, I clutched the strap of my laptop bag a bit tighter. The manager asked, "Where's your house, ma'am?" 

"Oh, the fifth street on the left, and the second building at the beginning of the road." 

The manager nodded, and the driver started the car. I sat in the car, mildly uncomfortable, because Bang Chan himself was sitting next to me. He ran his fingers through his silky, black hair, and looked out of the window of his side. I, on the other hand, was nervous and choked and dizzy. It seemed as if the headache that had earlier been appearing and disappearing had finally come back to stay for good.

I brought my hand up to my forehead to gently massage it, crinkling my eyes shut. A slight whimper escaped my throat, and his voice sounded gentle to my ears when he asked, "Hey, are you alright?" 

"Y-Yeah... just a little dizzy, that's it," I casually brushed it off, because the only thing I wouldn't want was for him to worry pointlessly. 

His hand was shaky when it barely touched my shoulder, and it felt like a jolt of electricity went through my body -- and perhaps his, too, when he withdrew his hand and looked away. 

"We're here," the manager spoke, and I slid open the door, climbing out of the car but feeling way dizzier than before. Chan asked behind me, "Kaira, are you sure you'll be okay?" 

"I-It's just the... second f-floor," I waved a hand behind me dismissively, as if to assure that I was okay, but I wasn't. My steps were faltering, and I was dwindling on the street. Voices seemed to surround me, yet felt distant, and black dots covered my vision entirely. 

What happened next felt like a dream. 

I felt a pair of strong, muscular arms catching me as I felt lifted off the ground, yet I felt the grittiness of the road under my feet. Voices were ringing in my head like a siren that was sounding from a block away, and a pair of hands touched my skin, almost burning away my existence. 

It was truly a dreamlike state when my head almost lolled to the side, but my back pressed against the robust chest of a man, and then I was slid to the side, with my arm around his neck, and faint noises of panic were crowding my head. It hurt so bad, my head. 

I felt like I was being dragged along, but in the gentlest fashion, and then I was lifted... I could not remember the sensation, but my arms were wrapped around him, and I could hear only one voice amongst the overcrowded mess of voices flooding my head, 

"Don't worry; I've got you." 

I was pretty sure that I wanted to smile, to hide my face, to bury myself, but I remained dizzy and out of it. 

Softness. A mattress. I was placed on a very familiar bed, and my feet felt free, as if someone had removed my shoes. My trembling hands tried to grasp onto the blurry image of a man with black hair, because when he spoke, I felt the utmost comfort and I knew it was him, 

"Rest well, yeah? Take care of yourself." 

Don't go. Don't go. 

Please don't let this be a dream. 

(a/n: [written during the hiatus: 7 Nov, 2023]

FIRST POST HERE AFTER THE HIATUS? HEHE I'M BACK!!! :D 

how was thisssssss?

thanks for reading! i love you!)